Helping Our Children Choose Their Friends

“Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.”

— 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

    As a parent, have you ever thought about helping your children choose their friends?  You may think – that’s not my role as a parent or my child should be able to choose his/her own friends.  In my humble opinion, I think that parents should play a huge role in who their children consider as friends and spend time with. 

    I was always on the look out for good friends for my sons.  Since I volunteered in the children’s ministry at my church, I had special insight into the children who attended.  I closely observed the child’s and parents’ demeanors.  Did the parents bring their children to church every Sunday or just once in a while?  Were they on time?  Were the children clean and fed?  Did they have good manners?  Did the parents and/or children use bad words?   Did the children tell lies?  What did the family do over the weekend?  Was reading and doing well in school important to the child and parents? 

    I took the scripture verse in 1 Corinthians 15:33 very seriously because I knew that bad company has a very negative effect on good character.  I wanted to raise two sons who would be Godly young men.  Yes, I was called a strict parent, but what is the alternative?  I encourage you to play a very active role in your children’s lives rather than just being a spectator. 

Author Soraya Diase Coffelt

Good Manners Don’t Fall from a Tree- You must Teach Them to Your Children

I sincerely believe that Christians should have the best mannered children.  Why?  Because we are to be an example to the world in every way, including how we raise our children.  

Of course, good manners start at home.  In her book “Taming the Family Zoo: Six Weeks to Raising a Well Mannered Child”, author Donna Jones gives many ways to teach our children good manners.  Here are some of them:

1. Teach the magic words.  Children need to know why “thank you”, “please” and all the other magic words are very important to their vocabulary.  Once they practice them at home, your children will have mastered their use, so using them in public will be natural to them.

2. Teach wise behavior in public.  Children need to know that they shouldn’t be running around in public, climbing on chairs, raising their voices, cutting in lines, etc.  Proper public behavior starts at home.  If you allow them to do these or similar things at home, they will do them in public.  

3. Teach good table manners.  Start at home of course.  Don’t allow your children to talk with their mouths full of food.  Show them how to place napkins in their laps and to keep their elbows off the table.  Don’t let them reach over someone else to get food.  Once they learn their manners at home, they will use them naturally at a public dining place or at a friend’s house. 

Read the entire article on her book by clicking here.

Author Soraya Diase Coffelt

What Does the Bible Have to Say About Good Manners?

Actually, the Bible has a lot to say about good manners. In fact, at this site you can find 23 Bible verses about manners.  Voted the most popular Bible verse on manners is Luke 6:31, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” (ESV)

I live in the U.S. Virgin Islands which is a part of the West Indies.  We West Indians are known for being very polite people.  We always greet another person, whether we know the person or not, with “Good morning” or “Good afternoon”, or whatever the time of day or night. As a matter of fact, if we do not greet a person that way from the beginning of the contact, the person immediately believes that we have no manners and would consider us to be rude.

I believe that good manners are just not being emphasized by parents any more.  We tend to excuse the child saying such things as “He’s just shy” or “She’s just tired today” or “He’s having a bad day”, or “She’s just a child-when she grows up, she’ll know better”, etc., etc.  Importantly, however, good manners should be ingrained in children, so that as your children grow up, good manners are such an integral part of them, that they automatically respond with good manners in every situation.  

Author Soraya Diase Coffelt