Family

Raising Children Who Are Givers

Photo from firstbaptistdelavan.com

Hebrews 13:16 is about doing good and sharing.  In fact, the Bible refers to these as sacrifices.   Just what is a sacrifice?  Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “sacrifice” as an act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to help someone.  What ways can you teach your children to be make sacrifices in order to do good and to share?  Below are some suggestions.

Consider all the myriad toys that your children have.  Donating them to a worthy cause that supports children is “doing good” and “sharing” contemplated in our verse.   What toys have your children outgrown or are not being played with anymore?  Can they be cleaned and donated to other children?  Assist your children in compiling a list of these items and then discuss where they could be donated.  Is there a children’s hospital or clinic in your area?  What about a shelter? Have your children accompany you to make the donation so they can see where their toys will be placed.  It will give them a sense of accomplishment and well-being to be part of the effort to do good and share.

Also consider your children’s outgrown and unused clothing and shoes.  As springtime approaches, what better than to go through closets and drawers, including yours, to select clothing and other items that can be donated.  Please make sure that the items that are being donated are clean and in good condition. 

Donating time and efforts are valuable lessons too.  Is there a park in your community that needs sprucing up?  Consider forming a group of caring parents and children and after getting approval from the appropriate authorities, spend time making the improvements.  These efforts will definitely be sacrifices as children will want to do other “fun” things with their spare time.  But, these are all life lessons.

This list is just some of the things to consider.  The goal is to have children  learn that obeying the Word of God is important and brings honor and glory to Him. 

For additional reading, CLICK HERE.

Preventing Your Children from Being Poisoned

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 300 children each day are treated in an emergency room and 2 die as a result of poisoning.  We all think of poisoning coming from the chemicals that we use to clean our homes but that is not all that can poison children.  Curious children can get their hands on medications that are easily accessible and then experiment with eating or drinking what they find.

The CDC has four main recommendations to prevent poisoning:

  1. Keep medications and cleaning supplies in their original packaging and locked away where children cannot see them or access them.

  2. Put the nationwide poison control center phone number 1-800-222-1222, on or near every telephone in your home and program it into your cell phone. 

  3. When giving children medications, be sure to carefully read the labels and only give the amount prescribed.

  4. Dispose of any medications and cleaning supplies you do not need or that have expired dates.  The CDC recommends that medicine be disposed by mixing it with coffee grounds or cat litter and making sure this mixture is thrown away.

Be especially careful not to refer to medications as candy.  Because pills come in different attractive colors, curious children are more susceptible to wanting to play with them and even eat them.

As parents, we must be diligent to protect our children.  Do all you can to safeguard items that are potentially hazardous to them and be prepared in the event poisoning does occur.

To learn more, either visit CDC Poisoning or CDC Prevent Tips.

Teaching Your Children Christian Mindfulness

There has been a lot of attention on and encouragement for adults to develop mindfulness, especially through yoga and meditation.  There is also a growing movement to teach children about mindfulness.  As Christians, we are called to “rest in the Lord,” meaning that we should spend quiet time with the Lord and trust Him.  This week I wanted to take a look at Christian mindfulness and how you can help your children develop it.

Just what is mindfulness? A simple definition is to be attentive to the present.  Our thoughts race around in our minds throughout the day.  How much are we aware of what is happening now – in the present time?  At the website, christiansimplicity.com, the writer gives a wonderful description of Christian mindfulness: “Because God is part of our everyday lives, paying attention to God and focusing on God’s kingdom is a fundamental practice of Christian mindfulness.”  The writer refers to it as “mindfulness Jesus-style.”  I like that!

Living in the present means that we are to have our hope in God and not dwell on our worries.  We should be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.

Meditation is a good way to develop mindfulness.   Christiansimplicity.com further recommends using scripture during meditation:

Christian meditation can be as simple as sitting still for ten minutes, breathing easily, and repeating a line of Scripture. Good phrases for this kind of meditation are “Maranatha” and “Be still and know that I am God.” This kind of meditation renews both our minds and our spirits. It provides a centeredness that helps us listen for God. It also trains us over time to release all the distracting thoughts that occur to us during the average day and refocus on what matters.

Children need assistance in dealing with their emotions and worries.  Select appropriate scripture verses that they can easily memorize.  Encourage them to take some time each day to sit quietly and repeat scripture or to just experience the present moment.

To learn more, CLICK HERE.

Helping Your Children with Dyslexia

Just what is dyslexia and what should we as parents know about it so that we can help our children? According to the Mayo Clinic, dyslexia is a reading disorder that affects the way that the brain processes language.  It is mostly associated with children having difficulties learning to read and has nothing to do with the child’s intelligence.  It is estimated that one in five children has dyslexia.

Before a child starts school, common symptoms include:

  • Late talking

  • Learning new words slowly

  • Problems forming words correctly, such as reversing sounds in words or confusing words that sound alike

  • Problems remembering or naming letters, numbers and colors

  • Difficulty learning nursery rhymes or playing rhyming games

Once the child is in school, it becomes easier to diagnose dyslexia as symptoms include:

  • Reading well below the expected level for age

  • Difficulty finding the right word or forming answers to questions

  • Problems remembering the sequence of things

  • Difficulty seeing (and occasionally hearing) similarities and differences in letters and words

  • Difficulty spelling

  • Spending an unusually long time completing tasks that involve reading or writing

  • Avoiding activities that involve reading

It is important to speak with your child’s doctor if your child is having any of these symptoms.  Be diligent as the social impact of dyslexia can have a negative effect on your child and how he perceives himself.  With assistance in forming strategies to compensate for various weaknesses, your child can excel socially and academically.  Unfortunately, however, a person never outgrows dyslexia.

For more information, visit:

The Effect of Technology on Your Children’s Eyes

image from Slate.com

More and more, parents are giving their children access to cell phones, iPads, laptops and other technology. Many children spend hours on these devices.  Think about it - do your children’s use of these devices actually affect their eyesight?

The answer is a resounding “yes,” according to Dr. Gary Heiting in his online article Children and Technology: Protecting Your Child’s Eyes.  He discusses some the vision-related problems that your child can develop:

  • Computer vision syndrome – Also known as digital eye strain, it is caused by visual stress resulting from too much screen time.  Symptoms include headache, dry eyes, fatigue, tired eyes and fluctuating vision.

  • Nearsightedness – Eye doctors have seen an increase of nearsightedness and attribute it to the increasing use of computer screens.

  • Increased exposure to blue light – This light is emitted from LED screens on laptops and digital devices.  Eye doctors are concerned that too much exposure will cause eye diseases later in life.

  • Unhealthy posture – When using technology, children often sit slouched in a position known as “turtling” – rounded shoulders and back with the head tilted back and chin jutted forward.  This is an unhealthy position.

It is important to monitor your children’s use of these devices.  Have them take breaks to give their eyes and posture a break.  Encourage media-free time, including play time and family time.  Their eyes are developing so they need to have large amounts of time away from these electronic devices.

For more information, CLICK HERE.

Helping Your Children with Fear of the Dentist

Helping Your Children with Fear of the Dentist

Last week, I wrote about helping your children with handling their fears.  One fear that must have a blog post of its own is going to the dentist.  Your children’s teeth should be regularly checked, but what can you do to make the visit easier on them?  Here are a few ideas from dentists themselves:

  1. Find a child-friendly dentist.  Look for a waiting room that has an area for children to play.  Enquire as to how they deal with children who are afraid.

  2. Communicate with your children.  Let them know that they will be visiting the dentist, so they are prepared.  Do not surprise them. 

  3. Explain to them the importance of having their teeth checked regularly by a professional. 

  4. Speak with your dentist about your children’s phobia ahead of time.  A dentist experiences this fear frequently and should have many good suggestions for you.

  5. Take a favorite toy to the visit, if the dentist approves.

  6. Speak with your children during the visit in a calm voice to reassure them that you are there for them.

  7. Give positive feedback to encourage them to continue with good behavior.

It’s difficult for parents to observe their children suffering with fears.  Being patient and understanding are key.

For more information, please CLICK HERE.

How to Handle Your Children’s Fears and Phobias

Many children develop fears, which can then turn into phobias.  These may involve insects, dogs, thunder and lightning, flying on a plane and darkness, for example.  As a parent, what can you do to help your children

Experts say that fears can develop around the ages of 6 to 12 and be a normal part of growing up.  Parents are encouraged to address these fears in the following ways:

  • Talk with your children about their fears.  Let them know that you are there for them.

  • Do not belittle, criticize or ridicule your children for having a fear.

  • Do not force your children “suck it up” and be brave.  They must have the opportunity to discuss what they are feeling and have your support and encouragement to overcome their fears.

  • Protect them when possible.  For example, if your children are afraid of large dogs, make sure that you know whether there are any in your neighborhood.  If there are, do not take your children to that area.  Perhaps you can speak with your neighbor about your children’s fear and when the time is right, introduce the dog to your children.

A verse that I often used with my children is the one on today’s blog – 2 Timothy 1:7 - and you can use it too.  Go over what the words mean so they can easily understand the verse.  Help them memorize it.  Say it with them several times during the day so it gets into their spirits. 

If you try many different methods but your children are still suffering from various fears, consider getting professional counseling.  Your children need to be able to deal with their fears. 

For more information, please click here: Understanding Childhood Fears and Anxieties

Welcome in a New Year and a New Decade!

As the new year and a new decade approach, let’s be excited about all the possibilities in the future.  God has promised to bless us exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ask or imagine.  (Ephesians 3:20) Isn’t that an amazing promise?  I pray that you experience exceeding joy, hope, love and peace in 2020.  Happy New Year!

Jesus is the Greatest Gift of All!

On this Christmas Day, please consider its special meaning.  As you and your family open gifts, remember the greatest gift of all was given to us by our Father and it was His Son Jesus.  God is the gift giver and He gave us the most precious thing that He could ever give! Let’s give Him honor and glory for all that He has done.  Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Parental Involvement is Key to Your Children’s Development & Successes

How involved are you in all aspects of your children’s lives?  I have written quite a bit about parents being involved with their children as much as possible. Experts have long concluded that a key ingredient for your children’s development and future successes is your involvement!

What does “involvement” mean? Your active participation!  It includes talking with them, asking questions, and actively listening.  Put your cell phone aside and strike up a conversation.  It means spending time with them such as playing games and attending their functions, no matter how trivial these games and functions may appear to you.  It means attending parent-teacher meetings and developing a relationship with their teachers to make sure you know how your children are progressing in school.

Especially during the holiday season, there are usually a number of activities to attend with your children.  Try your best to attend all that you can.  And, please do not promise your children that you will attend an event and then make up an excuse for not, in fact, attending.

When should parental involvement start?  As soon as your child is born!  From holding your children in your arms, to talking to them, to reading to them – those are just a few examples.

There are many stages to your children’s development and you should be an active participant in all of them. If you haven’t made an absolute commitment to them, consider doing it now.   They are more than worth it!

To read more, please visit:

Overcoming Hectic School Mornings

All parents have suffered through those hectic school mornings.  Getting ourselves and our children ready on time is often challenging.  Here are some pointers adopted by successful parents to overcome those chaotic times.

Get enough sleep the night before.  Your children should have a regular routine for going to bed at night with that routine including a regular time to get to bed and praying together.  There should not be any exceptions on a school night.  Children need adequate sleep and if they are not getting it, their performance at home and in school will show it.

Prepare, prepare, prepare the night before.  Preparation is the key to a smooth sailing morning.  Consider all the tasks that need to be done in the morning and prepare the night before for them so that they can be accomplished easily that morning.  Remember to get your children involved in all the preparations so that they learn what needs to be done and can take over when they are able to.  Select your children’s clothing.  If they take a lunch to school, prepare their lunches that night or at least double check to make sure you have all the ingredients.  Pack the lunch kits when possible.  Have their bookbags ready with the completed homework and anything else that they will need the next day. Make sure to double check whether they need any materials for school – such as pencils or notebooks.  All those can be packed that night as well. Don’t forget about their breakfasts.  Prepare ahead of time to ensure that that they have healthy food to eat. 

Have a checklist, just in case.  I’m a person who loves checklists but they have to be manageable.   Having a short list for each child to do will help you (and them) to better prepare. 

Wake up before your children.  You, as a parent, have important tasks that you need to get done in the morning too, including having some quiet time to pray.  It is best that your tasks are completed (or almost completed) before you take on helping your children to get ready.  Waking up before your children will give you the ability to do what you need to do and be ready when they get up.  When they do wake up, pray with them to help them start the day with a thankful heart and direction.

Organize your home. Everything needs its place in your home.  Lunch kits in one area, school related items in another area, etc., etc. Being organized will help you and your children get prepared quickly and efficiently.

For more information, please read:

Creating Thanksgiving Traditions with Your Children

Thanksgiving Day is a day when we celebrate and give thanks as a nation, community and family.  Our celebrations should include family traditions, which are special to our family.  Have you considered creating family traditions that will be life-long memories for your children?  Some can be elaborate and some just simple.  Here are a variety of ideas.

Instead of waiting for Thanksgiving Day to talk about what you are grateful for, consider starting on November 1 and have your children write down what they are grateful for during each day in the month.  This will teach and encourage your children to be thankful on days other than just Thanksgiving Day.

What about getting off the sofa and going outside for some fun!  Sometime during the Thanksgiving Day festivities, do a special sport activity in which each member of the family can participate.   For example, you can organize a tag football game.  Those who do not want to actually play in the game can stand on the sidelines and be the cheerleaders, referees or score keeper.

Another suggestion is to select a person or persons in the community to whom your family can be a blessing.  Perhaps it’s a senior citizen who is a neighbor but who has no children nearby.  Ask that person to join your Thanksgiving Day festivities or visit them, bringing Thanksgiving cheer and food. 

Consider volunteering to spend a few hours serving those who are less fortunate.  Many nonprofits have activities on Thanksgiving Day and volunteering with your children will show them how, as Christians, to put words into action.  Giving to and assisting those who are less fortunate is an important Bible principle.

There are so many traditions that can be started in your family.  Just select one or two and develop those loving memories that will always be cherished.

To find out about more family traditions that you can start, read:

President Abraham Lincoln Proclaimed Thanksgiving Day

Do you know the history of Thanksgiving Day?  It was President Abraham Lincoln who issued a proclamation in 1863 that we must have a day set aside to acknowledge and celebrate God for our great country.  It was because of him that we now celebrate Thanksgiving Day as a holiday in November.

Read the full proclamation below.

Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State

Note: This is a repost of a blog post on November 23, 2015 as I believe it is very important for us to know how and why Thanksgiving Day was set aside.

Bullying has Long Lasting Effects on Children

Despite the fact that bullying has been a topic of much discussion and intervention for the past several years, it continues to be a major problem in our schools.  Experts say that the long-term effects of bullying on a child victim can be very detrimental and last into adulthood.  And, the aggressor’s bullying can also continue into adulthood.

Many ailments have been connected to bullying, such as depression, eating disorders, self-harm, and post-traumatic stress disorder.  Inevitably, the child victim suffers from a loss of confidence.

The negative feelings associated with being a victim of bullying can lead to anger problems which may require therapy and medications.   Often, the child withdraws from social contacts, which then leaves him isolated.  It is critical to intervene as quickly as possible if this happens because isolation can lead to suicidal tendencies.

Interestingly, bullying tendencies as a child have been linked to sexual harassment as an adult.  A December 2016 study published in the journal Children and Youth Services Review showed that “43% of the children surveyed (from middle school to high school) had been the victims of verbal sexual harassment (including sexual comments, jokes, and gestures) in the past year.” One of the experts who was involved in the study said that the bullying tendencies associated with sexual harassment can have their beginnings long before the person becomes an adult: “Schools are breeding grounds for harassment of women.  What we see in college starts in K to twelve.”

To read more about the long-term effects of bullying, go to:

New Study Shows the Importance of Naps for Children 10-12 Years Old

New Study Shows the Importance of Naps for Children 10-12 Years Old

I have written before about the importance of children getting enough sleep.  

A recent study underscores how crucial naps are especially for children ages 10 to 12 years old.

The website Science Daily publishes the latest science research news.  On May 31, 2019, it published an article with the results of a study of 3,000 children ages 10 to 12 (4th to 6th graders) by the University of Pennsylvania and the University of California, Irvine.  The study’s summary is as follows:

Children who nap 30 to 60 minutes midday at least three times a week are happier, have more self-control and grit, and showcase fewer behavioral problems, according to new research. These children also have higher IQs and excel academically.

For children in grade 6, the researchers found the greatest impact academically.  One of the researchers commented: "Children who napped three or more times per week benefit from a 7.6% increase in academic performance in Grade 6.  How many kids at school would not want their scores to go up by 7.6 points out of 100?"

The article discusses the differences between the attitudes toward napping in the US and China.  In the US, napping is not encouraged as children grow older.  However, in China, napping is a part of everyday life from early childhood and even into adulthood. 

Incorporating naps during school time can be done.  Another researcher commented:  "The midday nap is easily implemented, and it costs nothing, particularly if accompanied by a slightly later end to the day, to avoid cutting into educational time. Not only will this help the kids, but it also takes away time for screen use, which is related to a lot of mixed outcomes.”

To read the entire study, please CLICK HERE.

What to do if Your Child is Struggling with Math

Many children struggle with learning math.  I admit that it was not one of my favorite subjects when I was growing up and I had to study longer for that class than for any other subject.  I still did well but it took me a lot of time to learn the concepts.  My two children differed – one was a natural math learner and the other struggled as I did.  For parents whose children struggle with learning math, here are a few suggestions.

First, understand that math skills are built upon each other or are cumulative.  If your child does not have a good grasp of the basic skills, it will be difficult for him to advance and learn new types of math.  This may lead to the child finding math boring or difficult, when in actuality, the child does not have a good understanding of the basics. 

Second, some children may have anxiety doing math.  So, it’s not as if the child does not understand math, but the child gets stressed when doing math problems. 

Experts suggest talking with your child’s teacher to find out what is happening in class and what you can do at home.  At the website www.understood.org, there is a list of things that you can do to help your child, from boardgames to books to free graphic organizers.  Visit the link below for more information.  Additionally, making math more multi-sensory has been very effective in helping children to understand it better. 

Third, if your child is still struggling, you may need to have him evaluated at his school for various disorders such as dyscalculia, dyslexia, ADD/ADHD.   Please don’t just have the attitude that “my child is just not good in math” when there may be other reasons for your child’s lack of performance.

Some people will say that “boys” are better at math than “girls” but there is no scientific study that supports this.    Both genders can learn and excel in math.

To learn more, please visit: Understanding Your Child’s Trouble with Math or Struggling with Math.

Teach Your Children Etiquette

Photo is from The New York Times

Etiquette is so important for our children to learn.  As a parent, you are probably thinking that they spend so much time at school learning various subjects, why should they now be burdened by learning proper etiquette? 

Etiquette is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “a customary code of polite behavior in society”.  In essence, it means good manners.  We should all strive to teach our children good manners, for their benefit, our benefit, and society’s as well.

There are many excellent online articles about teaching etiquette.   Experts agree that teaching etiquette should start from when the child is young and learning to talk.  Simple words such as “please” and “thank you” should become a part of a child’s early vocabulary. 

But, etiquette is much more than just a few buzz words.  In an online article at townandcountry.com, etiquette expert Myka Meier lists 20 lessons that a child should know:

•The true meaning of etiquette is always to show respect and kindness to everyone around you.

•Use please, thank you, and excuse me every day.

•How to hold your silverware correctly.

•How to properly use a napkin to wipe your mouth.

•How to chew with your mouth closed.

•No elbows on the table.

•Never interrupt an adult when he is speaking to someone else.

•Never comment on someone’s appearance unless it’s to say something nice.

•How to give a compliment to someone else.

•How to write a thank you letter.

•How to help someone in need, particularly if he is less able than you are.

•How to introduce yourself and others properly.

•Be aware of positive body language and how to show it.

•Never call an adult by his first name unless the adult instructs you to do so.

•Always knock on a door before opening it.

•How to answer a phone politely.

•How to make eye contact when speaking to another person.

•Don’t point or stare.

•Always cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing.

•How to invite someone to join a group if they are alone.

To read more, please go to:

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/a9641056/etiquette-lessons-children/

https://www.thespruce.com/teaching-your-children-basic-manners-1216584

The Harmful Effects of Plastic on Our Children’s Health

More and more studies are showing the dangers that the use of plastic is having on our health.  As parents, our concern is the effects on our children.  The American Academy of Pediatrics issued a report and policy statement in August, 2018 detailing the hazards to our children’s health posed by chemicals in plastic and making recommendations to assist persons in the health field and parents as to how to reduce exposure to these dangerous chemicals.  It found that “food insecurity remains a substantial child health concern”.

According to the report, increasing amounts of diseases and disabilities are being linked to harmful chemicals in plastic.  For example, the chemical bisphenol A or BPA has been frequently used since the 1960s in manufacturing plastic but research has shown the negative health effects it has. “BPA has recently been banned from infant bottles and plastic beverage containers are increasingly designated as BPA free. However, BPA and related compounds are still used in polymeric resin coatings to prevent metal corrosion in food and beverage containers.”  Be aware that, even though BPA may not be used in the plastic of a specific item, there are closely related chemical alternatives now being used that show similar negative health effects. 

The report lists many other chemicals and additives in food that pose harm to children.  Please read it for a good understanding of how these chemicals are shown to negatively affect our bodies.

The Academy’s policy statement is very helpful as well as it contains many practical recommendations such as:

• Avoid microwaving food or beverages (including infant formula and pumped human milk) in plastic;

• Avoid placing plastics in the dishwasher;

• Use alternatives to plastic, such as glass or stainless steel, when possible; and

• Look at the recycling code on the bottom of products to find the plastic type, and avoid plastics with recycling codes 3 (phthalates), 6 (styrene), and 7 (bisphenols) unless plastics are labeled as “biobased” or “greenware,” indicating that they are made from corn and do not contain bisphenols.

One other practical recommendation is drinking tap water rather than bottled water.   As for us parents, isn’t that so much easier, as you simply have to fill a glass or bottle from the tap?

Unfortunately, it is predicted that the use of plastics will quadruple by 2050.  That’s a sad testimony for us!

To read the full report and policy statement, please visit:

Suicide - The Second Leading Cause of Death for Children & Teens

According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, suicide is the second major cause of death for children and teens.  My blog this week is on this subject because I would like to educate more and more adults about this dangerous issue and help protect our children from the belief that suicide is a viable way to end their problems.

According to the Academy, young children who commit suicide typically do so impulsively because of negative emotions.  For adolescents, suicide is usually associated with depression and other factors such as bullying and exposure to violence.

Warning signs may start with a child saying such things as “I wish I was dead.”  The Academy urges us to be vigilant about all warning signs, including the following:  changes in eating or sleeping habits; frequent or pervasive sadness; withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities; frequent complaints about physical symptoms often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, and fatigue; decline in the quality of schoolwork; and preoccupation with death and dying.

In an excellent online article When One Teen’s Suicide Turns Into a Cluster at the website www.thefamilycoach.com, Dr. Catherine Pearlman stresses the fact that too little is being done to effectively combat suicides.  For example, just having suicide awareness programs in schools is not enough.  She suggests some critical changes that individuals as well as a community as a whole should make to fully address the issues surrounding suicide.  These include:

1.    Parents and schools must stop putting so much pressure on children to succeed at all costs.        

2.    Schools need to stop sending grades to parents on a daily basis.

3.    Children should be taught that “perfect” is a fallacy and even the idea of striving to be at close to perfection should not be the goal.

4.    Schools need crisis intervention plans as well as prophylactic plans for addressing suicide.

5.    Parents need to assume that their children are exposed to many risky things, such as drugs, alcohol, vaping, sex, porn, violence, social isolation, bullying and much more.  “Talk to your kids even if they don’t talk back. Talk in the car, over dinner or at night with the lights out before bed. Text these conversations if that’s the only way. Have the conversations before you think you have to. Your kids are going through so much more than you think. Get in there and help them.”

6.    Love your children no matter what.

No longer should we downplay our children’s suicidal tendencies.  Vigilance is key.

To learn more, please go to the following links:

Flying Kites Is Great Family Fun

I have very fond memories of flying kites with my late husband and sons when they were growing up.  Sometimes, we purchased all the different parts to decorate and make the kites ourselves, while at other times, we purchased very fancy and colorful ones that were already made.  

No longer are kites just of one simple shape with one line.   Because of modern technology, kites now come in many different sizes and attractive shapes, such as birds, insects, and planes.  Many have up to four lines to fly them.

Not only does flying kites as a family build family bonds and gets your children outside to enjoy their surroundings, but they are also teaching tools for science lessons.  Help your children learn what makes them fly; what makes them turn and twist; and what allows them to come back down.  All these are fascinating science facts and your children will be learning as they are playing!

Kiting is also a wonderful hobby.  There are kite sport groups, kite aerial photography, kite festivals, and different types of games to play with kites. 

I truly hope that you are encouraged to make kite flying a regular family activity this fall.  I have never flown a kite with four lines and that would be indeed challenging!

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