American psychologist Carl Rogers once said: “ “We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.” He and Richard Farson coined the terms “active listening”.
When it comes to communicating with our children, we should develop and incorporate active listening skills. It allows them to collect their thoughts and then express them. And, importantly, it forces us to stop and listen to what is being said and truly show our love and compassion. Inevitably, it can slow things down before they get out of hand.
Try incorporating some of the following active listening techniques the next time your child wants to talk or you would like to encourage your child to talk:
Stop what you are doing and give your full attention to your child.
When your child is talking, respond with outward motions such as nodding your head and saying “ahh” “ok”. All of these show that you are listening.
Try not to interrupt when he/she is speaking.
Respond back to your child to show you are listening and trying to understand. For example, you can say “I think I understand from what you are saying … Is that right?”
As parents, we are continually lecturing our children, expecting them to listen to us and do what we ask. It would be a wonderful change to start actively listening to them!
To learn more about active listening, visit:
https://parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/behaviour/active-listening/
https://www.peacefulparent.com/active-listening-improves-the-parent-child-relationshi/