6 Reasons Why Parents Should Stop Nagging

Nagging your children.  Nit-picking at them.  These all amount to the same thing – fault-finding and criticism.  Here are 6 reasons why parents should stop nagging:

1. Proverbs 18:21, The Passion Translation, reminds us of the importance of our words: “Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life”. The Word of God admonishes us to speak words of life, especially over and to our children.

2. It makes children feel incompetent. I love this quote from American author and stress expert Lori Lite: “Look for teaching moments instead of criticizing moments.”

3. It weakens the bond between parent and child because the child begins to tune out.

   According to Melanie Greenberg, psychologist and parenting expert, “When parents go on and on, kids tune them out. Researchers have shown that the human brain can keep only four 'chunks' of information or unique ideas in short-term (active) memory at once. This amounts to about 30 seconds or one or two sentences of speaking.”

4. It emphasizes the negative.

5. It can lead to arguments rather than resolutions.

6. It is not a long-term solution.

Next week’s blog post will have suggestions as to how parents can stop or at least, limit nagging.

This blog post was based generally on the online article:

https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Why-Do-We-Nag-Our-Children-and-How-Do-We-Stop

There is no Such Thing as a Humanly Perfect Child

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        Do you find yourself saying such things as “I wish my son had a more outgoing personality” or “I want my daughter to be the smartest student in her class” or “My son should be the best soccer player on his team”?  I believe our desires can be misplaced as we look for human perfection in our children.  Let us strive to raise children who love God and whose core fundamental beliefs are centered on God’s view of them rather than our own.

            In Matthew 22:37-38, Jesus instructs us on the “greatest” or most important commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.”

 We are misplacing the emphasis if we stress exceptional outward behavior or physical attributes as God wants us to love Him.  Moreover, God does not look at our outward appearance, but above all else, He always looks at our hearts. 1 Samuel 16:7. Our hearts are the core of who we are and what we believe.  Proverbs 4:23 states: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV).

The Bible is filled with verses that tell us how much God loves us and how we are special, precious and unique to Him.  These verses apply equally to adults and children.  Here are a few to discuss with your children and help them to memorize:

1.     Our children are God’s workmanship who have been created in Christ Jesus for good works. Ephesians 2:10.

2.     They are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139. 

3.     They are the salt of the world. Matthew 5:13.

4.     They are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14.

God is looking for people who love Him and know how much He loves them.  Help your children to understand this from young!