There is no Such Thing as a Humanly Perfect Child

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        Do you find yourself saying such things as “I wish my son had a more outgoing personality” or “I want my daughter to be the smartest student in her class” or “My son should be the best soccer player on his team”?  I believe our desires can be misplaced as we look for human perfection in our children.  Let us strive to raise children who love God and whose core fundamental beliefs are centered on God’s view of them rather than our own.

            In Matthew 22:37-38, Jesus instructs us on the “greatest” or most important commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.”

 We are misplacing the emphasis if we stress exceptional outward behavior or physical attributes as God wants us to love Him.  Moreover, God does not look at our outward appearance, but above all else, He always looks at our hearts. 1 Samuel 16:7. Our hearts are the core of who we are and what we believe.  Proverbs 4:23 states: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV).

The Bible is filled with verses that tell us how much God loves us and how we are special, precious and unique to Him.  These verses apply equally to adults and children.  Here are a few to discuss with your children and help them to memorize:

1.     Our children are God’s workmanship who have been created in Christ Jesus for good works. Ephesians 2:10.

2.     They are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139. 

3.     They are the salt of the world. Matthew 5:13.

4.     They are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14.

God is looking for people who love Him and know how much He loves them.  Help your children to understand this from young!

Are Too Many Rewards Hurting Rather Than Helping Your Children?

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Illustration by Natalie Matthews-Ramo

        As a parent raising two sons, I used rewards to help motivate them to do I what I believe needed to be done.    I reasoned at the time that rewards were proper means to an end.  The “rewards” system did not always work and in some instances, turned out to be more of problem than an effective solution or inducement.  As I have matured as a parent and seen parents give, in my opinion, too many rewards, I wonder whether we have misused and abused the “rewards” system.  I would like to share with you what John Rosemond, the “Parent Guru”, and author, psychologist and parent educator Robin Grille have to say on this subject, which I find to be very enlightening.

         Mr. Rosemond responded to a question posed to him about giving a child “prizes” or rewards just to have the child obey a parent’s request, in this case, to dress nicely to attend church and stop whining and moping about it.  He stated:

It should go without saying (but it seems that when it comes to child rearing, nothing goes without saying these days) that children should be taught do the right thing — in this case, obedience to parental instructions — simply because it is the right thing to do. Another way of saying the same thing: Children need to learn that good behavior is its own reward.

          He further talks about the short-term achievements that rewards give and get, and that researchers are finding that rewards are not good for the long-term.  In the online article Rewards and Praise – The Poisoned Carrot, Ms. Grille reached a similar conclusion:

Rewards work well for getting children to do something that they don't naturally want to do, for the short-term only. This immediate behavior change rewards us, and keeps us addicted to rewarding. The negative consequences of rewards and praise don't materialize until later, so we fail to recognize rewards and praise as the culprit.

          Another important point made by Ms. Grille is that many children learn how to manipulate and become “superficially compliant”, doing just what it takes to get the reward and often honesty suffers.  With my sons, I learned that I could not just ask them “to clean their rooms” for their rewards but had to be specific about what needed to be done.  Exactly what is meant by “clean”? Often, they would do minimal work and then expect a reward.  If none was forthcoming, complaints and arguments ensued. 

I agree with many of Mr. Rosemond’s and Ms. Grille’s conclusions and if I had to do it over again, would not give rewards as often as I did for certain things.  But, as a parent, it is up to you to decide what is best. 

To read the entire articles and more on the subject, please visit the following:

https://lacrossetribune.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/john-rosemond-children-need-to-learn-that-good-behavior-is-its-own-reward/article_b456455c-6921-50d1-ac43-1dc2e066f67d.html

https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/robin_grille/rewards_praise.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-trust/201604/heres-how-rewarding-good-behavior-leads-bad-behavior

Celebrating the Importance of Families on International Family Day on May 15

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The importance of the family unit is celebrated all over the world.  In fact, the United Nations passed a resolution in 1993 establishing the International Day of Families as an annual recognition of the paramount importance of families.  The resolution provided, in part, the following:

“This annual observance reflects the importance which the international community attaches to families as basic units of society as well as its concern regarding their situation around the world. The International Day of Families provides an opportunity to promote awareness of issues relating to families as well as to promote appropriate action.  The Day can become a powerful mobilizing factor on behalf of families in all countries, which avail themselves of this opportunity and demonstrate support of family issues appropriate to each society.”

For Christians, the family unit plays a vital role both physically and spiritually.  We have a physical, earthly family with parents and siblings and other members.  And, when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become members of the spiritual family of God our Father as we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. (Romans 8:15; Galatians 3:26-29).   From the Old Testament to the New Testament, God’s Word expresses the importance of family, from children honoring and obeying their parents and parents not provoking their children; the sanctity of marriage; the prohibition against adultery; and the disdain of divorce. 

The links below have some activities for families for this day.  Note that they are secular web pages but some of the ideas are worthwhile to do, especially after the COVID-19 quarantines are over.  

For more information, please visit:

• National Today - International Family Day

• International Event Day - Family Day

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Celebrate with As the Stars of the Sky

We would love to celebrate this day with your family! Our top reads or suggestions can be found below:

Celebrate International Jazz Day on April 30

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I have written before about all the numerous benefits music has on children.  International Jazz Day is celebrated on April 30 and is a wonderful opportunity to introduce your children to the world of jazz music.

What is jazz music?  According to Scholastic’s Teacher Activity Guide on Culture & Change-Black History in America, it is purely an American invention which started from blues music:

Born in the South, the blues is an African American-derived music form that recognized the pain of lost love and injustice and gave expression to the victory of outlasting a broken heart and facing down adversity. The blues evolved from hymns, work songs, and field hollers — music used to accompany spiritual, work and social functions. Blues is the foundation of jazz as well as the prime source of rhythm and blues, rock 'n' roll, and country music. The blues is still evolving and is still widely played today.

One of the most distinguishing features of jazz is what is known as improvisation.  Musicians not only play from music sheets but also create their own impromptu solo performances right on the spot.  It takes great talent to do this.

Jazz music continued to expand and grow over the years into what is known as “swing music” for dancing and then into what is known as “bepop music” in the 1940s:

In the early 1940s, jazz musicians were looking for new directions to explore. A new style of jazz was born, called bebop, had fast tempos, intricate melodies, and complex harmonies. Bebop was considered jazz for intellectuals. No longer were there huge big bands, but smaller groups that did not play for dancing audiences but for listening audiences.

The variety of jazz music is impressive, from blues to swing to bepop to Latin and Afro-Cuban jazz in more recent years.  It involves large bands or small groups or even soloist performances.  

The United Nations Educational, Scientific & Cultural Organization (UNESCO) established International Jazz Day in 2011 to recognize and promote the importance of jazz and uniting people all over the world.  Herbie Hancock, legendary jazz pianist and composer, has played a vital part in developing and promoting the day.  He said the following:

When a human being is oppressed, the natural tendency is to feel anger. Jazz is a response to oppression that is not bullets and blood. Jazz is the expression of harmony ... and at the same time of hope and freedom.

Plan some at-home lessons about jazz.  There are many famous jazz artists about whom your children can read and learn, including Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald and Dizzy Gillespie.

For more information, please visit:

• Jazz Day

• Scholastic - History of Jazz

• Smithsonian - What is Jazz?

Some Important Things for Parents to do to Raise Successful Children

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Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life.
Proverbs 22:6 (TPT)

During these days of quarantine due to the Coronavirus pandemic, parents are staying home with their children.  With a growing body of information filled with all kinds of recommendations of things that parents should do with their children, how can parents decide on what are the most important?  Although this is a Christian blog, I will concentrate today on what the world of science promotes. 

Here are some of the best recommendations:

1. Read with and to your children.  Importantly, when reading a book, take your time and make it exciting.  Change your voice depending on the characters.  Talk with your children about the plot.  Look at the pictures.  As a children’s author, I know that pictures in a book are very important so don’t just read the book quickly with a monotonous voice and move on.

2. Have them do chores to build a work ethic. Once a task is assigned, monitor them and explain to them how to do it better.  Don’t nag and don’t accept complaints from them.  Make sure that they follow through.

3. Have dinner together regularly as a family.  Studies have shown that children who have dinner with their families have lower substance abuse, depression and pregnancy issues and do better in school.  Children want to be loved and one way to show them love is to spend time together as a family.

4. Limit the use of mobile devices and screen time, especially for younger children.  Too much screen time has been shown to negatively affect children.  Again, it’s important for you to monitor their activities and ensure that they are abiding by the rules.

5. Praise your children properly.  Don’t praise them for their innate abilities – example: “You aced that exam because you are so smart!”  Instead, praise them for their effort – example: “You aced the exam because you really studied hard and put a lot of effort into your work.”  With the former praise example, there is truly nothing they can do about improving as they will think that they are “naturally smart”.  In the latter example, they learn that their success depends on their positive efforts.

For more information, please visit:

• Science Says Parents Should Do These Five Things

• Most Successful Kids Have Parents Who Do This

Discussing with Your Children about Good Friday - the Death of Jesus – on April 10

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One of the important hats that I wear is being a children’s author of faith-based books.  My book It’s Not About You Mr. Easter Bunny – A Love Letter About the True Meaning of Easter tells not only the history of how “Easter” originated with bunnies and baby chicks, but of course also about the most important event in Christianity – the death and resurrection of Jesus.  To augment your discussions or if you have not yet purchased my book, today’s blog addresses talking with your children about the day designated as “Good Friday”- the death of Jesus on the cross.          

Writer Erin Mohrin said it well in her online article entitled Good Friday and Children: Making the Cross Real to Your Kids:

It is important to me that our children feel the contrast between Good Friday and (Resurrection) Sunday, because without the darkness, the light won’t shine as bright. God’s great love for us went on full display at the Cross. Experience that love with your children this year.

The death of Jesus on the cross is indeed a very sad occurrence but the focus should not be just on His physical death, but also the meaning of it.  The cross represents pain and joy – the pain that Jesus felt when He was crucified and the joy we experience because Jesus died for our sins.  It shows His overwhelming love for us and the extent to which He went to make sure that we would have everlasting life with Him in heaven.

There are many activities that children can do.  The links below provide conversation starters with your children as well as an art activity.  Please spend some time with your children to help them understand what Jesus did for us.

For more information, please visit:

• Making the Cross Real to Your Kids

• How to Explain Good Friday to Your Children

Opening a Savings Account for Your Child

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Saving money is encouraged in the Bible. There are many scripture verses that establish that God wants us to be wise with our money and prepared for what may happen in the future.  Assisting your children to save money by opening savings accounts is a good start.

First, start with the scripture foundation for the principle of saving money.  Proverbs 6:6-11 talks about the hard-working ant. The Bible says “consider her ways and be wise”.  She diligently works all summer to gather food for the winter and has plenty when she needs it.  She is not a “sluggard” or a “lazybone” (NLT version), waiting for something else to do the hard work and provide food for her when she needs it.  Another important verse is Proverbs 21:5 – “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.” (NLT) Planning for the future is critical so that you will have money enough to provide for your needs and any emergency that may pop up.   Proverbs 21:20 talks about a rich man having precious things - wealth and luxury - while “fools spend whatever they get.” (NLT)

Second, do your homework before opening a savings account.  Research the process and what factors you should consider. There is an excellent online article (website below) entitled 7 Things to Consider Before Opening a Kids Savings Account.  It is important to understand all that is involved, including legal requirements that must be met, as well as bank fees that may be charged.

The best teacher from whom a child can learn to save money is you – the parent.  Raise a wise person, not a sluggard or lazybone!

To learn more, please CLICK HERE.

Teaching Your Children Christian Mindfulness

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There has been a lot of attention on and encouragement for adults to develop mindfulness, especially through yoga and meditation.  There is also a growing movement to teach children about mindfulness.  As Christians, we are called to “rest in the Lord,” meaning that we should spend quiet time with the Lord and trust Him.  This week I wanted to take a look at Christian mindfulness and how you can help your children develop it.

Just what is mindfulness? A simple definition is to be attentive to the present.  Our thoughts race around in our minds throughout the day.  How much are we aware of what is happening now – in the present time?  At the website, christiansimplicity.com, the writer gives a wonderful description of Christian mindfulness: “Because God is part of our everyday lives, paying attention to God and focusing on God’s kingdom is a fundamental practice of Christian mindfulness.”  The writer refers to it as “mindfulness Jesus-style.”  I like that!

Living in the present means that we are to have our hope in God and not dwell on our worries.  We should be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.

Meditation is a good way to develop mindfulness.   Christiansimplicity.com further recommends using scripture during meditation:

Christian meditation can be as simple as sitting still for ten minutes, breathing easily, and repeating a line of Scripture. Good phrases for this kind of meditation are “Maranatha” and “Be still and know that I am God.” This kind of meditation renews both our minds and our spirits. It provides a centeredness that helps us listen for God. It also trains us over time to release all the distracting thoughts that occur to us during the average day and refocus on what matters.

Children need assistance in dealing with their emotions and worries.  Select appropriate scripture verses that they can easily memorize.  Encourage them to take some time each day to sit quietly and repeat scripture or to just experience the present moment.

To learn more, CLICK HERE.

Is One of Your New Year’s Resolutions Spending More Time in the Word?

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When I saw this a couple of months ago, I was truly convicted.   How do you feel about this?  Can you spend more time in the Bible rather on an electronic device or social media? It’s actually a two-prong approach – cut back on what can be simply busyness and concentrate on what really provides nourishment and direction for us as Christians.

My cell phone provides me with a calculation each week about how much screen time I have spent.  After reading this, I tried really hard to cut back on using it and I was amazingly successful.  I have to keep it up though and not let one month’s reduction in usage be just that.

Concomitantly, I didn’t fill the void by watching tv or with other frivolity.  I made a commitment to spend more time with the Bible - reading and meditating on God’s Word.  What makes studying the Word so wonderful is that it is living and active and powerful.  Hebrews 4:12. There is never a dull moment.  Verses that I have known and memorized for years can have new, fresh meanings and application to me as I renew my study.     

As you spend less time on the phone and on social media, you will inevitably have more time to seek direction from the Lord and be there for your loved ones.  In my opinion, there is not a better way to spend your time!

Heavy Backpacks Can Cause Back Pain

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Have you looked at your children’s backpacks lately?  How large and heavy are they? I have seen so many children walking hunched over while carrying heavy backpacks. All this weight on a child’s spine is not good.

In an online article entitled Backpacks and Back Pain in Children, Dr. John Triano describes what can happen to a child’s spine.  Carrying a heavy backpack can cause the following:

• Distort the natural curves in the middle and lower backs, causing muscle strain and irritation to the spine joints and the rib cage. If the backpack is carried on one shoulder, the spine leans to the opposite side.

• Lead to rounding of the shoulders

• Cause a person to lean forward, reducing balance and making it easier to fall

• Pull on the neck muscles, contributing to headache, shoulder pain, lower back pain, and/or neck and arm pain.

Some researchers suggest that the weight of the backpack should be limited to 10%-15% of the child’s body weight.  Also recommended is using a separate bag for the child's laptop or other heavier electronic items.

Dr. Triano suggests that parents select backpacks with the following:

• Lightweight material (canvas as opposed to leather)

• Two padded, wide (2-inches), adjustable shoulder straps on the backpack

• Padded back

• Individualized compartments

• Hip strap, waist belt, or frame to redistribute the weight of the backpack from the shoulders and back to the pelvis

• Wheels so that the backpack can be pulled rather than carried.

Be sure to monitor what your children put in their backpacks.  Often, they just continue to stuff things inside without cleaning them out and organizing them.  This leads to them carrying a lot of unnecessary items.

To learn more, please read the entire article by clicking here.

Overcoming Hectic School Mornings

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All parents have suffered through those hectic school mornings.  Getting ourselves and our children ready on time is often challenging.  Here are some pointers adopted by successful parents to overcome those chaotic times.

Get enough sleep the night before.  Your children should have a regular routine for going to bed at night with that routine including a regular time to get to bed and praying together.  There should not be any exceptions on a school night.  Children need adequate sleep and if they are not getting it, their performance at home and in school will show it.

Prepare, prepare, prepare the night before.  Preparation is the key to a smooth sailing morning.  Consider all the tasks that need to be done in the morning and prepare the night before for them so that they can be accomplished easily that morning.  Remember to get your children involved in all the preparations so that they learn what needs to be done and can take over when they are able to.  Select your children’s clothing.  If they take a lunch to school, prepare their lunches that night or at least double check to make sure you have all the ingredients.  Pack the lunch kits when possible.  Have their bookbags ready with the completed homework and anything else that they will need the next day. Make sure to double check whether they need any materials for school – such as pencils or notebooks.  All those can be packed that night as well. Don’t forget about their breakfasts.  Prepare ahead of time to ensure that that they have healthy food to eat. 

Have a checklist, just in case.  I’m a person who loves checklists but they have to be manageable.   Having a short list for each child to do will help you (and them) to better prepare. 

Wake up before your children.  You, as a parent, have important tasks that you need to get done in the morning too, including having some quiet time to pray.  It is best that your tasks are completed (or almost completed) before you take on helping your children to get ready.  Waking up before your children will give you the ability to do what you need to do and be ready when they get up.  When they do wake up, pray with them to help them start the day with a thankful heart and direction.

Organize your home. Everything needs its place in your home.  Lunch kits in one area, school related items in another area, etc., etc. Being organized will help you and your children get prepared quickly and efficiently.

For more information, please read:

• Morning Routine for Kids

• School Mornings Without the Stress

Riddles – Fun & Educational for Your Children

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Riddles are often called brain teasers for a reason.  They help your children to think outside the box and in multi-dimensional ways.   When was the last time that you went over some riddles with your children?  Pick up a book at the library or a bookstore, or go to a website listed below to have some fun time.

I love riddles!  When you are driving with your children or spending time with them in other ways, asking them riddles is a great way to pass the time and help them learn.  After asking the riddle, try not to give the answer right away if your children are struggling to find the answer.  Help them on the journey to find that answer.  For example, here is a good riddle to get your children to think logically:

Q: You walk into a room with a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.

If your children do not get the correct answer right away, ask such questions as: can a candle light itself? Of course, the answer is “no”.  Ask that same question for each of the other items – a kerosene lamp and a fireplace.  The answers would still be “no”.  For any of those 3 items to get “light”, you would have to light the match first. 

Please be warned that there are some very difficult riddles out there and some that do not make much sense.  Review the riddles yourself before asking them to your children.  Is the riddle age appropriate?  Will my child learn from the riddle?

Here are some websites that are filled with interesting and challenging riddles:

• 45 Riddles and Brain Teasers for Kids

• Icebreaker Riddles for Kids

Singing Helps Your Children’s Development

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(Photo of the children’s group Lake Norman Singers)

After recently reading a newspaper article about how singing is beneficial for adults, I thought that it must have many more benefits for children.  I did some research and this week’s blog is about just that.   Children love to sing and singing helps their intellectual and emotional development in many different ways.

The advantages of having children sing are explained: 

1. Singing helps a child improve his vocabulary by learning new words.  Experts say that parents should start from when the child is very young, as singing nursery rhymes and simple songs can be a foundation upon which words are built.

2. For young children, it helps them learn to communicate by exercising lip and tongue movement.

3. It helps develop the “memory muscle” – when your child is learning a song, tunes and words are being embedded in your child’s mind.

4. It helps develop creativity.  Your child can create songs about anything and anyone. Make the words rhyme or not.  There is no limit to what type of song can be written and sung.

5. It helps your child develop self-confidence.  As your child practices a new song with both words and tunes, she will become more confident as she masters it.

6. When your child sings with a group, it helps him to develop better social skills as he will be learning and building friendships at the same time.

The websites listed below give parents and caregivers many tips as to how to encourage singing.  They range from singing before bedtime or just making up songs while you are at home to looking for singing classes or a group in which your children can participate.  Make it fun.  Your children will enjoy themselves and learn at the same time. 

For more information, please visit these websites:

• How Singing Can Support Learning

• Five Benefits of Singing for Children

• https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/08/singing-children-development-language-skills

Encourage Your Children to Read More by Building a Fort

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The Christmas and New Year’s holidays will soon be here and our children will have many days off from school.  I often like to think about creative ways for parents to encourage their children to read and develop active readers from a young age.  Why not consider building a fort in a child’s room or family room as a unique, cozy, private place to read?

In building a makeshift fort, let your children take the lead in researching what types of forts can be built, planning what is needed, and actually building it.  After all, it’s “their” fort.  I recommend starting out by searching the internet for pictures, articles and ideas.  There are also many books that give step by step instructions on building all types of forts. 

A fort can be simple and just made with a few chairs for walls and a blanket thrown across the chairs for the roof.  Or, it can be more elaborate.  What is important is that everyone participates in the decision as to what it will look like.   Be sure to make it big enough so that you can join your children in the fort.  A fun activity is reading to them inside the fort!

This project will definitely be one for the memory books!  And, importantly, you and your children will have a fun time bonding.

Have Your Children Participate in Holiday Planning

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Three major holidays are soon approaching – Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day.  Typically, parents plan all the activities and children enjoy the fun, including days off from school and eating lots of sweets.  This year, have your children actively participate in the planning of each day’s activities to help them build organizational skills and appreciate what needs to be done.

For gifts, get suggestions from your children on what should be purchased or handmade.  Family members usually enjoy receiving personal, handmade items from children.  If your children are artistic, encourage them to think of presents that they can make.  There are many websites as well as stores that have ideas for projects.  The key is to plan ahead and make sure that you and your children have  time to make each gift.

If you decide on buying some gifts, encourage your children to come with you to select the gifts.  You can build fond memories looking for the perfect item for a grandparent, for example.  The gift recipient can be told that the child helped to select the item.  Oftentimes, that makes the gift extra-special.

Each holiday will need a special menu for meals prepared.  Ask your children to participate in building the menus and then grocery shopping and cooking with you.    They will learn about selecting meals and obtain hands-on- knowledge of ingredients as well as learn your cooking secrets.

Decorating the house for each holiday should be a planning activity too.  Many families have already accumulated decorations over the years that are kept in storage until the time to put them out.  Consider adding some new, special touches to this year’s decorations – some that your children select.  For example, one of my nieces wanted specific Christmas decorations in their front yard one year.  She and her parents discussed the decorations, arrived at an agreement on what could be purchased, and then went shopping for them.  Everyone assisted in putting them up.  The new decorations turned out to be an extra-special touch for their yard.   

Children love to be included in planning activities – it shows them that they are truly appreciated.  They can learn so much by doing so too! 

Helping Your Children Not To Be Their Own Harshest Critics

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Sometimes our children are harder on themselves than others are with them.  It is important to listen to what your children say about themselves and be able to help them stop their self-criticism as soon as possible.   Encourage them to build self-esteem.

In her online article on Focus on the Family’s website, author Shana Schutte writes that there are basic ABCs to building self-esteem in children. Start with the letter “A” which represents “acceptance”.   Children must feel accepted unconditionally by their parents!  If they don’t, they will withdraw and become self-critical. 

The letter “B” represents “belonging”.  Children must feel as if they belong in their family and are a critical, appreciated part of their family.  When peer pressure takes place, a child who feels a deep sense of belonging to her family, will find it easier to resist doing an act that she knows is not right.

The letter “C” represents “competence”.  Your children also need to feel as if they are competent and able to do what they would like to do.  Be there for them and encourage them, but do not be an overprotective parent. 

I also believe it is very important that children learn Bible verses that describe how much God loves them and how God sees them.   Search for Bible verses that your children can memorize and then use these verses to refute any negative feelings your children may have about themselves.

To read the entire article, CLICK HERE.

What is Wisdom?

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Just what is wisdom?  Many people think that wisdom and knowledge mean the same and can be used interchangeably.  But that is not accurate.

Wisdom begins when we fear the Lord.   Proverbs 9:10 states "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."   The word fear in this scripture does not mean that we are to be afraid of God – for example, if we do something that is wrong, it does not mean then He will strike us with lightning. 

It means instead that we are to love, honor and respect God.   In order to have wisdom, we must love, honor and respect God.  When we do, we walk in obedience to what God says we should do and say.

Proverbs 2:6 states that “the Lord gives wisdom & out of His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.”  When the Lord speaks, there is knowledge given to us.  And, this has knowledge been written down in the Bible.  The Bible is God’s Word.    As a result, reading the Bible - learning what the Lord has said - will give us knowledge.

Knowledge is also gained by learning and studying.  When we go to school, if we want to earn good grades, we read and study.  In other words, we gain knowledge, whether that knowledge is in geography, science or math for example.  So all our knowledge is in our heads – facts & information that we have collected over many, many years.

But how do we get wisdom?  As I mentioned, Proverbs 2:6 states that God gives us wisdom.  In other words, as we study the Bible and gain knowledge, God gives us the inside explanation of what His Word really means.  He gives us the inside ability and direction to figure things out – not using our natural minds, but being led by Him. 

The famous preacher Charles Spurgeon once wrote:

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge.  To know is not to be wise.  Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it.  There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”

A person can have a lot of knowledge but not have the wisdom of God.   James 3:17 states: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

How then do we get wisdom? It comes from heaven or God.  According to James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”   You might say to yourself – Is it that simple to get wisdom? Just ask God?  Yes, but of course you have to believe that God will give it to you.  You must have faith!

Helping Your Children Find Hobbies and Sticking with Them

Do your children have any hobbies?  A hobby is something that is done during their free time for fun and pleasure.  I hope that you did not answer that question with “Yes-they play video games”!  The absolutely last thing we should want our children to be doing during their free time is sitting and playing video games for hours on end.  

According to child development experts, hobbies are important for children for many reasons.  Hobbies help your children to develop creativity.  Is your child artistic?  Then, encourage him to draw and paint.  Several brand stores have huge sections devoted to art supplies.  Does your child enjoy taking photos with your cell phone?  Encourage her to continue to take photos and learn more about that art form.  There are many books that teach about how to take photos and to be very creative in doing so.  If her interest continues, consider purchasing a camera for her.  You can even show some of her photographs to her teacher and ask for suggestions of a club that she can join with like-minded persons.

Hobbies also can help develop skills that may lead to lucrative careers in the future.  If your child enjoys writing stories, help her to learn more about being an author and structuring her work.  It may be that you have a budding Pulitzer prize winner on your hands!

Hobbies further help children with developing intelligence.  For example, by sitting and putting together a jigsaw puzzle, your child will learn how to associate shapes with images as well as patience.  If your child enjoys reading, books will provide challenges to learn new words.  When your child encounters a new word, encourage him to write it down, find its meaning, and then use it in a sentence.  Review the word again with him each day for a few days to make sure that he continues to remember it. 

Lastly, hobbies give children a sense of accomplishment.  They have undertaken a fun task, stayed with it, and completed it.  Do all you can to have your children complete a hobby that they started.  The results can truly be amazing for them and you!

There are so many hobbies to consider.  One of the growing categories is rocketry.  Think about all the science involved with propelling a rocket.  Your children will be learning as well as having a fun time.

Please do not overburden your children with hobbies though. As I have written in prior blogs, your children need to spend time with you and other family members.  Adding too many activities to their schedule, especially during the school year can cause unnecessary pressures on them.

The list of hobbies is almost endless.  Don’t allow your children to waste their free time.  Hobbies will definitely allow them to continue growing and learning.

What are Healthy Sleep Habits for Children?

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Now that school has begun, it is important to ensure that our children are getting to bed at a decent time to have the rest they need.  Their performance and learning ability in school depends on it.  But, just how much sleep do our children need each night?

There is an excellent article online about our children’s sleep habits at healthychildren.org.  It may be surprising to you to find out that children from 3 to 5 years old need 10 to 13 hours of sleep a day and children from 6 to 12 years old need 9 to 12 hours of sleep a day. Teenagers need 8 to 10 hours.

Some recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics are:

1.    Have a daily family routine for sleeping.  Include nap times as well during the day.  Children will understand and be ready to go to sleep when there has been a regular routine established at night and bedtime is set. 

2.    Be sure to keep all sorts of electronic screens out of your children’s bedrooms at night as they have been known to cause sleep disruption.  In fact, it is recommended that all electronics be turned off at least 1 hour before bedtime.

3.    Prepare your children for going to sleep.  For example, you may want to incorporate a bedtime story just before tucking them into bed and turning off the light.  Children love being read to and I can’t think of a more perfect way for children to wind down and get ready for sleep than having a story read to them.

4.    Be sure to monitor your children’s sleep patterns.  Are they going to sleep easily? Are they having problems waking up in the middle of the night? If you have any concerns, speak with your family’s pediatrician about them.

To learn more, please visit the following website: CLICK HERE

The Importance of the Extended Family in Your Children’s Lives

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With very busy lives, parents often think about spending time with their children rather than incorporating the extended family into leisure time too.  However, extended families have tremendous impact on children’s well-being. 

In an online article for the American College of Pediatricians, the many positive benefits of the extended family on children are extolled. Here a few:

1.    Children learn life stories and lessons from older family members.

2.    Parents and children have extra support when the time comes, because the time will indeed come.

3.    Exposing children to different beliefs and ideas from others will help them expand their understanding and knowledge and not just rely on their parents.

4.    Family health history is known and shared.  

The article ends with this statement which I believe is so important:

When kids can go with members of their extended family and be loved and cherished, and then come home to more people who love them, they are more connected to the love and goodness in humanity and better able to live positive and productive lives. 

So this weekend, set out some extra chairs for members of the extended family and have them to your home for special times.  Your children will grow to love and appreciate these times.

To read the entire article, click here.