I’m certain that many parents purchased or friends and relatives purchased video games for their children or other young relatives as gifts this past Christmas. As the mother of two sons, I know well the desires that children have to play video games, especially boys.
Many parents ask – can playing too many video games really hurt my child? According to developmental psychologist Douglas Gentile, the answer to that question is “Yes”. He gives the following reasons why:
Kids who spend too much time at the computer are missing out on other activities fundamental to their physical, social, intellectual, and emotional development. Time spent in front of the computer or game console is time taken away from playing with friends, reading or doing a project with you, and other activities.
Kids usually play video games alone, and too much time spent alone can foster social isolation.
Children who watch more than ten hours of TV a week don't do as well in school as kids their age who watch less. When setting limits, it's important to consider the total amount of time your child spends in front of all electronic screens — TVs, computers, movie screens, etc.
Bad habits can become ingrained and are more difficult to change as children get older. (According to research, the average American 4th-grade boy spends 9.5 hours each week playing video and computer games, in addition to other screen time.)
If your child regularly plays games with plots based on violence and aggression, research shows he is at risk for increased aggressive behavior.
There are pros to video games, though. He recommends quality games that give children the opportunity to practice problem solving and logic skills. They help the development of fine motor and coordination skills and also help children become familiar with information technology. He strongly suggests playing these games with your children as special bonding time.
When I walk into a person’s home, I can immediately know what is important to that person. Is there music playing and music paraphernalia all around? Are there toys and play areas for children in different spaces? Is there a large tv screen with surround sound and other modern equipment to make tv viewing an experience? I’m not being judgmental – simply stating facts.
Pets are a very important part of a family and can also be a creative way to encourage your children to read. Some children read to dolls or other inanimate objects as part of their play time. What about having them read to their pets? In fact, some organizations have programs where children come in and read to shelter pets. These programs encourage children to practice reading out loud and provide much needed attention for pets who are in the shelter. What a wonderful way to promote literacy!
As a mother of two boys, I know all about sleepovers. You have a house full of kids, who don’t want to sleep and who eat continuously through the day and night. Sleepovers are fun times for children. But, be cautioned. You need to protect your children from other children and even their parents who may have a bad influence on them as well as anyone else who may be in the home when your children are there for the sleepover.
I did not welcome invitations from parents whom I didn’t know. Random sleepovers were not permitted. If I knew the parents and children, I would inquire as to what types of activities were planned; who would be supervising the children; what would they be eating and drinking; and what types of games were they going to play.
Even after so much scrutiny and diligence though, something slipped by. I remember picking up my oldest son from a sleepover late one morning. He was about 10 years old at the time. As I arrived at the house, I walked in the front door to the living room. I then observed my son playing a video game with another boy. As I looked closely, to my shock and dismay, the video game involved hitting and kicking women all over their bodies (including their heads, stomachs, and private parts) in fight scenes. This was a family who attended church regularly, but the parents were not monitoring the types of video games in their house. On the drive home, I explained to my son about the problem with that video game and that men should not hit women. During the following week at church, I even spoke with the parents about the game. When I observed their nonchalant attitude, I knew my son was not going to spend time there again.
“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”
We just finished the Christmas season with gift giving being an important part of the celebration (of course, with Jesus at the center of it all). Many of us gave or received beautiful and expensive gifts. But did you know that your children are also precious gifts from God?
What have we done with those gifts we received this Christmas that were “precious” to us? Of course, we made sure that the gifts were well taken care of, safe and protected because we certainly do not want anything to happen to them. They are too important to us. We also spend time with those gifts, whether it is wearing them or driving in them, or going somewhere special with them. Since the gifts are so valuable to us, we want to make sure we spend significant time with them, not just a few minutes.
As gifts directly from God, don’t your children deserve such treatment, and even better? Think about ways that you can make your children feel that they are such precious gifts too you each and every day. Please don’t skip a day, though, because their memories can be short.
What do children love to do and is very natural for them? To laugh! Also, we have all heard about how good laughter is for us because it helps reduce stress.
According to the website for the Women’s and Children’s Network on Kids’ Health, some children did a survey of what made the people in their class laugh. Here is what they found:
"My little brother makes me laugh because he does such funny things - he's only a baby."
"Knock knock jokes."
"Watching funny movies."
"My friend - because he is really funny."
"My favorite comedians."
"Hanging out with my friends because we have fun together and laugh a lot."
"Watching home movies, especially when mom and dad look so funny with their hairstyles and the clothes they had when they were young."
Since my passion is to promote reading, I would like to connect the dots between encouraging reading and laughter. One of the types of books we had at our home for our sons to read were joke books. We loved to laugh and our sons seemed to be natural at laughing and joking around. The joke books were a special family treat on occasions.
Today, with the expansion of the internet, there are all sorts of websites that have good, clean jokes and riddles for children to read and enjoy. So, spend some time laughing and reading with your children. Those will be very special times indeed!
Happy new year! Yes, it’s 2016 and I have some suggestions for new year’s resolutions to help promote reading in your family.
#1 – Plan weekend family outings to your local library. I cannot mention enough about the wealth of information and books that are available in public libraries. Search the internet to find out what your library has to offer on the weekends for children and attend the events. Above all, check out books and other material for your children to read, at no cost!
#2 – Have a variety of reading materials available at home. Don’t let your children get bored with what reading materials you have. In addition to fiction, have biographies, comic books, audible books, and books in other formats (on your Kindle or iPad).
#3 – Intentionally set aside time each day to read. That will take discipline on your part. One of the best times to read is when you are putting your child to bed at night, or after dinner is finished. Don’t wait until you are totally exhausted and sleepy to do this. Plan time for reading in your schedule as you would any other important event. Remember – your child is worth it!
#4 – Limit the video and computer games. Children can sit in front of a screen (whether a large computer screen or the small screen on your mobile phone) playing games endlessly. Many parents use these games as babysitters. Instead of just having your child play these games, try downloading some good books and have your child read them. That way, they will sit quietly and develop good reading habits at the same time.
Of course, there are many more suggestions that I can make. But, let’s start with these in 2016. You will be taking a huge step by making and following through with these resolutions.
People frequently complain about the direction that many of our young men and women are going. Music, clothing, hair, speech – all of these are subjects of complaints. Instead of complaining though, I believe that we should diligently seek to bring assistance. That’s where mentors are needed.
When was the last time that you mentored a child or young adult? The Apostle Paul is a very good example for us to follow. He was a mentor to young Timothy, whom Paul referred to as “his true son in the faith”. Paul knew both Timothy’s mother, Eunice, who converted to the faith, and his grandmother, Lois. Paul credited much of Timothy’s good upbringing to his mother and grandmother. As a mentor, you should get to know the child’s family as that will help you fully understand the child.
Paul spent a lot of time with Timothy as they often traveled and ministered together. Timothy was in a unique position to walk daily side by side with Paul, listen to Paul, and learn from Paul’s preaching as well as observe his demeanor. Timothy was dedicated to Paul and serving God, and as a result, Paul referred to him as “his fellow worker”. As a mentor, you should spend time with the child so the child can learn from you. Remember that you are serving as a role model, so be extremely attentive to your every word and movement.
Paul frequently expressed his praise and love for Timothy. Paul referred to him as his faithful son and his beloved child. He was proud to send Timothy to help others as Timothy had served him well and publicly commended Timothy’s service to him - as a child serves a father. As a mentor, you should encourage and praise a child often. Look for the good rather than the bad.
Don’t complain – help. Our children and young adults need your assistance in mentoring them.
Image from www.courageforkids.com
I write often about the importance of literacy. Since this month is November - the month of Thanksgiving Day - I want to merge the concepts of being thankful with reading. How can we help our children become more thankful and encourage reading at the same time?
As a Christian, I always turn first to the Bible for guidance. With so many research tools available online as well as electronic Bibles, it is relatively easy to search for verses with the words “thanks” and “thankful” in the Bible. There are many. Encourage your children to read some of these verses and write them down. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 188:1 - “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”
Another idea is to have your children write on sticky notes once a day what they are thankful for and create an area in your home where they can put up these sticky notes as reminders. Examples are “I’m thankful for my dog” and “I’m thankful for a sunny day to play outside” and “I’m thankful for food to eat today”. Encourage your children to read them every day.
Also, help your children write “thank you” notes for gifts or for any occasion when such a note can be used. I recently received in the mail a “thank you” card from one of my teenage nieces thanking me for a birthday gift I sent to her. It was very special to me because it showed me that she took the time to think about thanking me and about what to write to me and then she took the time to actually write it out to me. That one little handwritten note showed me that she cared for me and wanted to let me know how much she cared.
The list of ideas is endless. Begin incorporating some in your day to day activities.
MY son, James, with his first book.
Many parents talk about the difficulties they have in getting their sons to read more. They complain about the fact that reading is seen as being nerdy and it’s challenging to find books that boys like. In classrooms, teachers often seem at a loss as to how to encourage the boys to read more. Many just don’t know about the plethora of subjects that boys like to read about and what books are available.
I’m a mother of two sons and understand those sentiments. However, I profoundly believe that parents should be determined and assertive in fostering the good habit of reading in their children. My late husband and I were good role models for our sons because we read a lot, individually and as a family. I often would go to my sons’ schools to speak to teachers if I believed reading wasn’t being encouraged enough and suggested good books for the students. We even purchased books for a school’s library to encourage reading.
Now with the internet, there is so much information available and even websites dedicated to boys reading such as www.guysread.com so there is no excuse. Don’t just sit back and expect your children, especially boys, to develop the love of reading. Find out what subjects they are interested in and then go and look for books on those subjects. If your son is interested in robots for example, actively search for books on robots. I found that my sons loved reading books about intergalactic wars and soon found that many came in wonderful series. We visited bookstores and libraries to get as many books in various series as we could.
I would love to hear what you have done to encourage your children to read, especially your sons. Please let me know.
From Disney's The Princess & the Frog movie.
“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
Oh those wonderful fairy tales! I read so many as I was growing up. The Princess and the Frog - Cinderella – Rumpelstiltskin – Little Red Riding Hood - and many, many more. Those stories were so enjoyable and filled with immense creativity that stirred my imagination. Are there really talking frogs? Why would a princess kiss a frog? Can a frog actually turn into a handsome prince? Would the prince ever be able to turn back into a frog again?
Why read fairy tales to and with your children? The genius Albert Einstein knew why, and that is the foundation for his quote which inspired my blog post. He understood what I as a child experienced while reading them – a creative imagination being massaged and developed. Fairy tales cause a child’s mind to think outside of the box, beyond every day natural occurrences. They stir a young brain to work and think differently and to ask questions. If a princess will kiss a frog, what else is possible? With our imagination, we can imagine anything. I truly believe that Einstein read so many fairy tales that they eventually impacted his intelligence, ultimately causing him to come up with the theory of relativity.
Some people may believe that the title of this blog is an exaggeration. Can a child’s vocabulary at age 2 truly predict the child’s success in kindergarten and later in life? So says author Aaron Loewenberg, a former kindergarten teacher who is now focusing his efforts on education policy and leadership after obtaining a master’s degree, in his recent online article New Research: Two-Year-Old Vocabulary Predicts Kindergarten Success. Importantly, don’t just take his word for it.
Loewenberg cites many studies showing not only that a child’s success in kindergarten is based on the child’s vocabulary, but also the child’s success throughout life. In fact, he states that “children who enter kindergarten with strong early reading and math skills are more likely to attend college, own homes, and have 401(k) savings. They are also more likely to be married and live in higher income neighborhoods once they reach adulthood.”
Links are provided to all the studies that he cites, giving the reader an opportunity to look at the research articles and findings. Of great concern are the findings that children from lower income families suffer the most from the lack of vocabulary skills. Early intervention is the key – with “early” referring to the years before kindergarten. Loewenberg concludes as follows: “If this new study linking the vocabulary of two-year-olds to kindergarten success proves anything, it’s that it’s never too early to start building the vocabulary skills of our youngest learners.” I wholeheartedly agree!
Read the entire article by CLICKICLICKING HEREG HERE.
In a study issued in April, 2015, the American Academy of Pediatrics revealed scientific evidence of the positive effects that reading has on younger children. For years, pediatricians have encouraged new parents to read to their babies as early and often as possible. Now there is actual scientific proof through MRI testing establishing how reading to children influences different brain activities which then helps in the development of oral language skills and ultimately reading skills. The children who were a part of the scientific study underwent MRI testing while they were listening to stories via headphones. The researchers were able to monitor their brain activity. Here is an excerpt from the article in Science Daily that discusses the findings:
“We are excited to show, for the first time, that reading exposure during the critical stage of development prior to kindergarten seems to have a meaningful, measurable impact on how a child’s brain processes stories and may help predict reading success,” said study author John Hutton, MD, National Research Service Award Fellow, Division of General and Community Pediatrics, Reading and Literacy Discovery Center, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. “Of particular importance are brain areas supporting mental imagery, helping the child ‘see the story’ beyond the pictures, affirming the invaluable role of imagination.”
Read more of the article by CLICKING HERE.
I have such fond memories of reading together as a family with my two sons and late husband. As often as we could, we would huddle together on our bed and read a good book. In the beginning, I would read out loud to everyone, but as the boys became better readers, they would read out loud to us. How much time we spent reading together varied depending on our schedules and the type of book we were reading.
One of our most favorite books was the Hank the Cow Dog series by John Erickson. We bought and read every single book in that series. The series is about a dog named Hank and his sidekick Drover who lived on a ranch and had many funny adventures. There were other characters who added exceptionally hilarious times, such as Pete the sly barn cat. As we read, we would pause and laugh and then go back to reading. We would stop reading whenever we wanted. Sometimes, there would be an argument as to whether we should stop at a certain point or continue because of the suspense, but often, we read about a chapter a week. We loved that series so much that we purchased and donated it to the library at my sons’ school.
I would like to inspire you to read as a family too. The memories are precious and last a lifetime. It is also a great bonding and teaching time for the kids.
Grandparents are such influential people in the lives of our children. One very important influence should be in building reading skills and emphasizing reading. According to the Children’s Reading Foundation, grandparents can spoil their grandchildren in good ways by giving them a reading-rich lifestyle.
Here are some suggestions from the Foundation as to what grandparents can do whether they live close by or not:
Sing songs, recite poetry and do finger plays to help develop language and listening skills.
Play word games and do puzzles together. These activities provide wonderful opportunities to build vocabulary.
Offer books or magazine subscriptions as gifts for birthdays and other special occasions.
Invite your grandchild to the bookstore or library for story hour. Don’t rush. Take time to browse the books and to cuddle together in the cozy chairs. Time is your gift to give.
Let your grandchild see you reading and enjoying books. When you’re together, read aloud the words on signs, menus, and captions under an interesting photograph in a magazine or newspaper.
“Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.”
Reading time with children should always be a fun time for you and them. Have you thought about it also being a time to show your child your love? When was the last time that you put your child in your lap and actually read to him/her? This quote from Emile Buchwald is very touching to me. Generally, children learn the love of reading from their parents. They observe their parents reading. Their parents spend time reading to them. But, actually taking your child and sitting your child on your lap to read is extremely loving and personal. It is saying to your child “I love you so much that I want to share this special time and book with you and build a loving relationship while we do it.”
Twenty years from now – what do you want your child to remember of the childhood years? A mom or dad who were too busy to sit down and read a book to and with them? Or a mom and dad who intentionally set aside time for the child to make the child feel loved and important? Create memories now and build a reader while you are doing it.
