Be Sure to Include the Children in Family Virtual Meetings

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I think that one of the best things that has happened during the COVID19 pandemic is families using virtual meetings to stay in touch with each other.  My family started to do that with our extended family every two weeks and it has been a source of joy, bringing us closer together.  Planning a virtual meeting is very helpful to make sure you have topics to stir conversations and always remember to include the children.

I view these family virtual meetings as similar to when all the family members get together to share a meal.  During those mealtimes, children are all around us, enjoying the meal and often listening to the conversations too and joining in the laughter. 

Sometimes, it is challenging to get your children to talk about what is going on in their lives.  How do we get them to participate?  One of the ways I recommend is to plan ahead of time as to what topics will be discussed.  Tell your children about those topics and ask them to think about what they will say.  Be sure to ask them to share their thoughts during the virtual meeting.

Since children love to laugh, you can plan on a joke fest.  Have each person select and tell a joke about something during the pandemic. Laughter is the best medicine!

It is important that all children feel acknowledged and respected.  Siblings can be condemning to each other so establish ground rules ahead of time that put downs and criticisms will not be tolerated.   If you see another family member’s child at the virtual meeting but not talking, you can try asking that child a specific question. 

The topics to talk about during the virtual meetings are innumerable.  Let’s make sure to actively include children in our discussions.

Be Sure to Participate with Your Children in the National Day of Prayer on May 7

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The National Day of Prayer is observed annually in the US on the first Thursday in May and was officially established through the efforts of President Harry S. Truman in 1952.  As our nation unites in prayer, my call of action is to include our children in this event.  

The roots of this special day go back much further though than 1952, all the way to the Second Continental Congress in the 1770s and President John Adams in the 1790s, as prayer and fasting were deemed vital to the establishment and growth of our nation.  In 1988, the law creating this day was amended to include two explicit intentions: it would be a day when believers of all great religions could unite in prayer and it would one day bring renewed respect for God to all the peoples of the world. 

The theme this year is “Pray God’s Glory Across the Earth” based on Habakkuk 2:14.  If you have not included your children in this event before, please consider doing so.  There are many children’s activities and I have listed some in the links below.  I especially like what is written in the image for today’s blog about the prayers of children: they are pure and truthful! 

Be sure to set aside time on May 7 to join millions of others to pray for our country and our leaders.  The website link for the National Day of Prayer below has suggestions for prayers and provides a schedule for the national broadcast beginning at 8 p.m. Eastern time. 

For general information & activities for children, please visit the following links:

• National Day of Prayer Official Website

• Children’s Ministry - National Day of Prayer

• Focus on the Family - National Day of Prayer

Creating Thanksgiving Traditions with Your Children

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Thanksgiving Day is a day when we celebrate and give thanks as a nation, community and family.  Our celebrations should include family traditions, which are special to our family.  Have you considered creating family traditions that will be life-long memories for your children?  Some can be elaborate and some just simple.  Here are a variety of ideas.

Instead of waiting for Thanksgiving Day to talk about what you are grateful for, consider starting on November 1 and have your children write down what they are grateful for during each day in the month.  This will teach and encourage your children to be thankful on days other than just Thanksgiving Day.

What about getting off the sofa and going outside for some fun!  Sometime during the Thanksgiving Day festivities, do a special sport activity in which each member of the family can participate.   For example, you can organize a tag football game.  Those who do not want to actually play in the game can stand on the sidelines and be the cheerleaders, referees or score keeper.

Another suggestion is to select a person or persons in the community to whom your family can be a blessing.  Perhaps it’s a senior citizen who is a neighbor but who has no children nearby.  Ask that person to join your Thanksgiving Day festivities or visit them, bringing Thanksgiving cheer and food. 

Consider volunteering to spend a few hours serving those who are less fortunate.  Many nonprofits have activities on Thanksgiving Day and volunteering with your children will show them how, as Christians, to put words into action.  Giving to and assisting those who are less fortunate is an important Bible principle.

There are so many traditions that can be started in your family.  Just select one or two and develop those loving memories that will always be cherished.

To find out about more family traditions that you can start, read:

• Thanksgiving Traditions

• 6 New Thanksgiving Traditions with Kids

Teach Your Children Etiquette

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Photo is from The New York Times

Etiquette is so important for our children to learn.  As a parent, you are probably thinking that they spend so much time at school learning various subjects, why should they now be burdened by learning proper etiquette? 

Etiquette is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “a customary code of polite behavior in society”.  In essence, it means good manners.  We should all strive to teach our children good manners, for their benefit, our benefit, and society’s as well.

There are many excellent online articles about teaching etiquette.   Experts agree that teaching etiquette should start from when the child is young and learning to talk.  Simple words such as “please” and “thank you” should become a part of a child’s early vocabulary. 

But, etiquette is much more than just a few buzz words.  In an online article at townandcountry.com, etiquette expert Myka Meier lists 20 lessons that a child should know:

•The true meaning of etiquette is always to show respect and kindness to everyone around you.

•Use please, thank you, and excuse me every day.

•How to hold your silverware correctly.

•How to properly use a napkin to wipe your mouth.

•How to chew with your mouth closed.

•No elbows on the table.

•Never interrupt an adult when he is speaking to someone else.

•Never comment on someone’s appearance unless it’s to say something nice.

•How to give a compliment to someone else.

•How to write a thank you letter.

•How to help someone in need, particularly if he is less able than you are.

•How to introduce yourself and others properly.

•Be aware of positive body language and how to show it.

•Never call an adult by his first name unless the adult instructs you to do so.

•Always knock on a door before opening it.

•How to answer a phone politely.

•How to make eye contact when speaking to another person.

•Don’t point or stare.

•Always cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing.

•How to invite someone to join a group if they are alone.

To read more, please go to:

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/a9641056/etiquette-lessons-children/

https://www.thespruce.com/teaching-your-children-basic-manners-1216584

Flying Kites Is Great Family Fun

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I have very fond memories of flying kites with my late husband and sons when they were growing up.  Sometimes, we purchased all the different parts to decorate and make the kites ourselves, while at other times, we purchased very fancy and colorful ones that were already made.  

No longer are kites just of one simple shape with one line.   Because of modern technology, kites now come in many different sizes and attractive shapes, such as birds, insects, and planes.  Many have up to four lines to fly them.

Not only does flying kites as a family build family bonds and gets your children outside to enjoy their surroundings, but they are also teaching tools for science lessons.  Help your children learn what makes them fly; what makes them turn and twist; and what allows them to come back down.  All these are fascinating science facts and your children will be learning as they are playing!

Kiting is also a wonderful hobby.  There are kite sport groups, kite aerial photography, kite festivals, and different types of games to play with kites. 

I truly hope that you are encouraged to make kite flying a regular family activity this fall.  I have never flown a kite with four lines and that would be indeed challenging!

For more information, read the articles at:

• 7 Reasons to Fly a Kite with Your Family this Fall

• Basic Kite Diagrams

Eating a Healthy Breakfast is Connected to Good Academic Performance

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The beginning of a new school year is always challenging for parents and children.  We parents usually have different concerns than our children as we center our attention on how to assist them with doing well in all aspects of school.  Yet, we share with them the goal of good academic performance.  Science has shown that a child who starts the day with a good breakfast is already leaps ahead in performing well in school.

According to an online article on the website for the National Center for Biotechnical Information/National Institutes of Health, the importance of a healthy breakfast cannot be overstated yet it is the most frequently skipped meal, with 20% to 30% of children skipping it.

Studies “generally demonstrate that eating breakfast has a positive effect on children's cognitive performance, particularly in the domains of memory and attention.” Children who eat breakfast have an increase in cognitive performance, meaning an increase in attention skills so that they can perform their lessons well. This also translates to an ability to attend school regularly and remember information that is taught.  Additionally, their behavior in class is dramatically affected because they can concentrate better and perform the necessary tasks.

It is important for us to understand that children’s brains are developing and are different than those of adults.  The article points out that children have a higher brain glucose metabolism than adults.  “To maintain this higher metabolic rate, a continuous supply of energy derived from glucose is needed, hence breakfast consumption may be vital in providing adequate energy for the morning.”

Not only does breakfast assist a child academically, but it also helps the child to maintain proper body weight.  Children who skip are more likely to be overweight and not eat healthy snacks or satisfy the recommended daily vegetable and fruit intake.  Not surprising is the connection between skipping breakfast and “risky behaviors” such as smoking and experimenting with alcohol and drugs.

Plan for healthy breakfasts ahead of time.  Make them easy and fun.  There are plenty of books and online articles with suggested recipes.  Give your children the important start for their school day and help them reach their goals of academic success.

To learn more, go to:

• The effects of breakfast on behavior and academic performance in children and adolescents

• The Science Behind Breakfast

How to Talk to Your Children About Immigration & What is Happening at the US Borders

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The news media has been replete with stories of the sad situation with immigrant families at the US borders, especially what has been happening with children.  One very sad recent story was about a father and daughter who drowned while attempting to cross over the Rio Grande River from Mexico to Texas.  It is very difficult for children to comprehend tragic news and the controversial situation with immigrants does not appear to have any resolution soon.  As a parent, you have a responsibility to assist your children to understand what is happening as well as to make sure that they are getting information from reliable sources and not “fake news”.

There are many articles on the internet with advice to help parents.  Of course, the recommendations center on talking with your children based on what is age appropriate for each of them.  One expert suggests that parents should start with discussions of family history – where did various members of your family come from?  How did they get to the U.S.? Why did they leave the countries they were from?  I think this is a wonderful suggestion as it helps children to understand how their own family members were involved with immigration.

Reading and discussing books about the history of immigration in the U.S. and the struggles that individuals have gone through are also good ways to learn about what has happened in our nation’s history and what is happening now.  In the links below, books for children of all ages about immigration are suggested.

Raising compassionate and intelligent children requires that they be informed as best as possible about what is happening with immigration in our country.  They will likely hear the news from someone else, so as a parent, talking with them and helping them to understand the issues involved is critical.

For more information, please visit these websites.  Please also note that although I have these websites listed, I do not agree with everything they say, but they are, nevertheless, good sources of information.

• Time Magazine - How to talk to Your Kids About Immigration

• Little Feminist - Empathy Toward Immigrants

• Parent Map - Where to Start When Talking about Immigration

• Romper - How to Talk to Your Kids About Immigration and Family Separation

Service Projects for Children This Summer

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Among the many interesting things that your children can be doing this summer are service projects in your community.  These projects teach children gratitude, how to care for others, be kind and helpful, and instill a sense of pride in them.   There are various non-profits that are committed to many different issues so whether you partner with one or do your own project as a family will be up to you.  I have included in this week’s blog some ideas for you to consider.

Start off by talking with your children about what projects they would like to participate in.  The last thing you want to happen is have a car full of complaining children because you are “forcing” them to do something they do not want to do.  Do they like dogs and cats?  If so, consider having them volunteer at an animal shelter.  Of course, check with the shelter and other non-profits first before you plan a service project to ensure that they can accommodate children. 

Do they complain about trash at the park? Organize them and their friends to do a clean-up.   Have they accumulated a lot of clothes that they have outgrown?  Help them gather the clothes together and donate them to a women’s shelter.  I have listed at the end of this blog a couple of websites that suggest a number of service projects.

Before, during and after each service project, talk to your children about the importance of what they are doing.  Encourage them to do more. Praise them for their efforts. 

For ideas on service projects and getting your children ready to serve, please read these two online articles:

• The Barefoot Mommy: Community Service Projects for Kids

• Kid World Citizen: 35 Service Projects for Kids

Activities for the Whole Family to Celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus

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The day we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is this Sunday.  I don’t like to refer to it as “Easter” because that word is of pagan origins.  Besides attending a morning service at church, do you have anything planned as part of the celebration?  Here are a few ideas to make the festivities more fun and informative for the entire family.

1.    Decorations. Before the event, make streamers or tabletop centerpieces on the theme of the holiday. Dove or cross streamers are a lovely touch to an indoor or outdoor space. The same goes for signs with bible verses on them. You can find several other decoration ideas online or come up with them yourself!

2.    Crafts Table. Whether you plan to invite friends over or choose to keep it as a family celebration, a crafts table is always a good idea. There could be coloring pages based on the biblical story, stencils to make doves and crosses, even paint and markers to illustrate a favorite story or memory.  These creative ideas will keep children occupied while the adults greet guests, prepare the spread, or just relax. Do not let the kids have all the fun though, as adults can join in on the crafts table too!

3.    The Feast. Speaking of a spread, you can spice things up this year by making a meal reminiscent of the Last Supper. Though the Bible is clear that unleavened bread and wine were served at the Last Supper, the other foods Jesus and his disciples ate are not stated.  What is known is that foods such as date charoset and cholent were popular at the time and you can now find these recipes online. Your children can help you. Older kids can prep much of the food or assist with the cooking process itself. Younger children can be put in charge of the food display and be little taste testers too. While everyone is partaking in the meal, discuss the significance of the Last Supper in reference to the resurrection of Christ. What a great way to get the whole family involved!

4.    Resurrection. Now that you have shared the significance of the meal relative to His resurrection, discuss the resurrection itself. To make it a little more interactive, prepare certain discussion points with your children ahead of time. If there are guests over, consider playing a game at the end of the story using questions about details from it. Whoever answers the most questions correctly then wins the game and will get a prize!

These are a few suggestions that you and your family can consider in celebrating this most eventful time in Christian history, always remembering the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for us.

You can also check out my children’s book It’s Not About You, Mr. Easter Bunny- A Love Letter About the True Meaning of Easter, along with its coloring pages by CLICKING HERE.

The Importance of Having Family Devotional Time

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Parents play such a vital role in their children’s lives and forming their character – this is a theme that permeates my blog posts.  Being a parent who actually wants to impact their children requires you to spend time with them, including devotional and prayer time. 

First and foremost, we must start with you as a parent.  Do you have time set aside each day for your own devotions and prayer life?  Children are very observant and will likely follow your example rather than your words.  Explain to your children why you have a devotional time and how it benefits you.  Spending time reading the Bible, meditating on a scripture verse, being quiet and alone with God, praying – these can all be ways to spend devotional time.

Now, to get your family involved requires planning.  Are your children toddlers or teenagers or both?   Activities should be directed at your children’s different ages. For example, do not expect your 4 year-old to sit still for long periods of time.  Plan having an activity such as coloring available that focuses on the theme for that day’s or week’s devotional.  Read a Bible story.  Talk with your children and ask them questions.  Let them ask you questions too.

There are many children and youth-friendly books for devotional time.   And, the internet has many websites as to what families can do together.  Start off with a length of time that is short so that when it is well planned, the time will fly by.  Make it a happy family time rather than a burden.  Children especially do not want to participate in an activity that is mundane. 

As your children get older, they should be encouraged to have their own devotional time as well.  Family devotional time can become the foundation for their own private devotions. 

For some recommendations of books to include, CLICK HERE.

Holiday Advertising Aimed at Our Children

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I write frequently about helping our children to overcome the negative pressures that often surround them and try to impact them.  Christmas is a few weeks away and advertisers have been doggedly aiming advertisements at our children since at least October.  Here are some suggestions as to how to help your children maneuver around this bombardment, especially during the holiday season:

1.    Use this time as teachable moments.  We as parents will never be able to stop advertisers from advertising, but we can help our children understand what is happening through advertisements.  Oftentimes, we do not think about an item until we see an advertisement.  Then, we can get the feeling as if we cannot live without it!  Advertising is very powerful, so talk with your children about it and the purpose behind it – us spending our money!

2.    Teach your child to be a smart shopper.  Just because you see an advertisement of a particular product does not, in turn, mean that it is the specific product that you must purchase.  If your child does need a particular item or if you would like to buy an item despite of need, make plans about it.  For example, if you would like to purchase a small electronic notebook for your child, discuss it with her.  Research together the different brands and models available.  Compare prices, warranties and ratings.  Impulse shopping can become addictive so teaching your child to be a smart shopper from a young age will help her to grow into a disciplined shopper.

3.    For Christians, Christmas is the season for giving, as God gave His only son to us.  Stress that with your children.  Plan how as a family and individually you and your children can give to others in need.  What community organization needs your help?  Consider volunteering to help others as a family activity and something that you will do throughout the year.

To read more about this subject, please CLICK HERE.

Talking to your Children About Drugs and Alcohol

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Have you spoken with your children about drugs and alcohol?  Many parents hesitate about broaching these subjects with their children, but you must.  Schools are supposed to provide drug and alcohol education as well, but as a parent, I always believed it was better for my children to hear about those subjects from me and my husband rather than someone else as we were also teaching about our Christian beliefs and values in the process.

Focus on the Family has an excellent series of articles online about talking with your children about drugs and alcohol.  It starts with a parent taking opportunities to talk whenever you can, as you cannot wait for the perfect moment.  Look for teachable moments when your children are with you, undistracted.  Remember that it is never too early to start talking about these issues.  Of course, if your children are young, you will want to taper what you say to their age range.  Ask questions.  Inquire as to what they already have heard about the subjects. 

Never tell your children a lie.  The author of the online series of articles mentions a girl in his class who said that her mother told her that if she smoked marijuana, her hair would fall out.  The girl knew other students who smoked but still had hair. Of course, she now did not believe her mother.   Would she believe her mother on other subjects?  That is a very good question.

There is a lot of misinformation out there, so it is up to you to know the subjects and be ready to give good counseling.  Ask your children’s teachers and school nurse for recommendations as to how you can prepare yourself and what literature there is to support what you say.   Your children will more likely listen to you if what you are saying to them comports with what they can find out online or at their school.  Give them literature so they can read for themselves as well.

To read the full series of articles, click here.

When Was the Last Time Your Family Had A Game Night?

Children love spending time with their parents, especially fun time.  What better way than to have a family game night to enjoy the time together and help your children to learn and develop new skills?

Games teach children many different, yet important things.  From colors to shape recognition to new words to social interaction, there are so many benefits.  Some games such as chess teach logic and strategic planning.  Children also learn that there are basic rules that must be followed in order to play and win. 

To start off, select one night a month that fits into everyone’s schedules.  Once the date is selected, stick with it and do not make excuses to cancel it.  Plan for the night as a family so that each person has input.  Will there be food? What game will be played? How long will the game(s) last?  It is easy to search the internet to find games that will be suitable for your family.  Consider both board games and physical games such as Twister (which was one of our family’s favorites). 

Be sure not to give up if the first family night is not as successful as you hoped.  The key is to plan and keep everyone involved.  It will become one of your and your children’s fondest memories.

Good Manners Don’t Fall from a Tree- You must Teach Them to Your Children

I sincerely believe that Christians should have the best mannered children.  Why?  Because we are to be an example to the world in every way, including how we raise our children.  

Of course, good manners start at home.  In her book “Taming the Family Zoo: Six Weeks to Raising a Well Mannered Child”, author Donna Jones gives many ways to teach our children good manners.  Here are some of them:

1. Teach the magic words.  Children need to know why “thank you”, “please” and all the other magic words are very important to their vocabulary.  Once they practice them at home, your children will have mastered their use, so using them in public will be natural to them.

2. Teach wise behavior in public.  Children need to know that they shouldn’t be running around in public, climbing on chairs, raising their voices, cutting in lines, etc.  Proper public behavior starts at home.  If you allow them to do these or similar things at home, they will do them in public.  

3. Teach good table manners.  Start at home of course.  Don’t allow your children to talk with their mouths full of food.  Show them how to place napkins in their laps and to keep their elbows off the table.  Don’t let them reach over someone else to get food.  Once they learn their manners at home, they will use them naturally at a public dining place or at a friend’s house. 

Read the entire article on her book by clicking here.

Author Soraya Diase Coffelt

Inspiring Family Reading

I have such fond memories of reading together as a family with my two sons and late husband.  As often as we could, we would huddle together on our bed and read a good book.  In the beginning, I would read out loud to everyone, but as the boys became better readers, they would read out loud to us.  How much time we spent reading together varied depending on our schedules and the type of book we were reading. 

    One of our most favorite books was the Hank the Cow Dog series by John Erickson.  We bought and read every single book in that series.  The series is about a dog named Hank and his sidekick Drover who lived on a ranch and had many funny adventures.  There were other characters who added exceptionally hilarious times, such as Pete the sly barn cat.  As we read, we would pause and laugh and then go back to reading.  We would stop reading whenever we wanted.  Sometimes, there would be an argument as to whether we should stop at a certain point or continue because of the suspense, but often, we read about a chapter a week.  We loved that series so much that we purchased and donated it to the library at my sons’ school.  

    I would like to inspire you to read as a family too.  The memories are precious and last a lifetime.  It is also a great bonding and teaching time for the kids. 

Author Soraya Diase Coffelt