Helping Your Children Not To Be Their Own Harshest Critics

Sometimes our children are harder on themselves than others are with them. It is important to listen to what your children say about themselves and be able to help them stop their self-criticism as soon as possible. Encourage them to build self-esteem.

In her online article on Focus on the Family’s website, author Shana Schutte writes that there are basic ABCs to building self-esteem in children. Start with the letter “A” which represents “acceptance”. Children must feel accepted unconditionally by their parents! If they don’t, they will withdraw and become self-critical.

The letter “B” represents “belonging”. Children must feel as if they belong in their family and are a critical, appreciated part of their family. When peer pressure takes place, a child who feels a deep sense of belonging to her family, will find it easier to resist doing an act that she knows is not right.

The letter “C” represents “competence”. Your children also need to feel as if they are competent and able to do what they would like to do. Be there for them and encourage them, but do not be an overprotective parent.

I also believe it is very important that children learn Bible verses that describe how much God loves them and how God sees them. Search for Bible verses that your children can memorize and then use these verses to refute any negative feelings your children may have about themselves.

To read the entire article, CLICK HERE.

Small Ways to Boost Your Children’s Self Esteem

I have written before about boosting your child’s self-esteem, but today I will be discussing a few additional points as this is such an important subject. Self-esteem is simply how a child feels about himself. It is vital that children feel good about themselves because it makes them better problem solvers, better learners, and more appreciative of themselves and the people around them.

Since self-esteem is so integral to a child’s development, here are a few things you can do to boost his confidence.

1. Do not pile on the praise. This may seem counterintuitive to what you believe. Simply praising your child for everything he does is not helpful. And, research shows that it may backfire. Concentrate on praising effort. Your praise may appear fake if a child knows that he did not perform well so instead, acknowledge when your child is making mistakes and encourage him to keep trying!

2. Let your child make mistakes. When teaching a child something new, be patient and monitor what she does. Then, let her do it on her own so that she can learn from her mistakes. Too often, as parents, we do not want our child to perform mediocrely. How can she learn if she does not keep trying to do better.

3. Encourage independence. Once your child knows the difference between right and wrong and understands the consequences that come with certain decisions, let her make some for herself. Often, this can show how much you trust her and respect her choices.

4. Do not give harsh criticism. I often hear parents calling their children names such as “lazy”, “messy”, “disorganized”, etc. What we speak over our children will come to pass. They will begin to think about themselves just as you described. So, select descriptive words that are encouraging rather than discouraging and look for things that they do right, rather than what they have done wrong.

Though these steps may seem simple, following them will go a long way in building healthy self-esteem in your children.

Kids Health provides more information about the benefits of high self-esteem in children and what you can do. Read the entire article by CLICKING HERE.