Helping Your Children Understand Disabilities

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Picture from friendshipcircle.org

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8 ESV

It is of utmost importance that we raise children who are compassionate, empathetic, and loving to others.  One of the ways to do that is teaching them at a young age about persons with disabilities and how to treat them. Many of us have persons with disabilities in our families and there may be children with disabilities at your children’s school.  As Christians, we are especially called to show our love and be tenderhearted. 1 Peter 3:8.

Children are naturally inquisitive and will ask questions.  Here are some suggestions to assist your children:

• It is acceptable to notice a person who has a disability.  Do not ignore the situation but offer an explanation that is not emotional.  Author Lindsay Hutton in her online article Six Tips to Talk to Your Children About Disabilities, suggests the following:

A short and matter-of-fact description will answer your child's questions while showing her that the person has nothing to be ashamed of.

For example, if you see a child with muscular dystrophy in a wheelchair, you can say to your child, ‘I see you looking at that little girl in the wheelchair, and you might be wondering why she needs it. Some people's muscles work a little differently, and her wheelchair helps her move around, just like your legs help you.’

• Words are important, so be respectful and not hurtful.  Ms. Hutton recommends the appropriate words to use: “Avoid using derogatory terms like ‘cripple’, ‘retarded’, or ‘midget’, and instead, use terms and phrases like ‘wheelchair user,’ ‘little person’, and ‘he has a learning disability’.’’

• Point out similarities between all children and adults.  Persons with disabilities are human beings who have feelings, love their families, and enjoy music as well as playing sports.  By emphasizing the similarities, you will help your children to understand that persons with disabilities are people too.

• Children love to ask questions.  If you do not know the answers and the child’s parent is present, consider asking the parent.  Many parents of children with disabilities welcome questions and spend time answering them.

• Ask your children to think about a scenario where they have a particular disability.  How would they like to be treated? For example, if there is a child in your children’s school who has a hearing disability and wears a hearing device, ask your children how they would feel if they could not hear well.  How would they want to be treated? 

There are many children’s books to familiarize your children with disabilities.  Visit the links below for some suggestions. 

For more helpful information, please visit the following:

• Explaining Disability to Children

• 6 Tips to Talk to Your Kids About Disabilities

• Disability Awareness for Kids

Keeping Your Children Active during the Summer COVID-19 Shutdowns

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It’s the middle of the summer and most places do not have summer camps or other activities available for children.  Many areas have closed parks, playgrounds and sports fields.  Despite all these restrictions, it is very important to keep your children active as shutdowns have already led to the exacerbation of childhood obesity rates.

Scientists were concerned from the beginning of the lockdowns that children would be negatively affected.   Their reasons included children not being able to participate in organized school activities or eat subsidized school lunches as well as being exposed to more snack food at home all day long.

Researchers recently found that compared to one year ago, “children ate an additional meal a day; slept an additional half hour per day; and spent more than 5 hours per day in front of a phone, computer or television screen” during the lockdown.  Those are shocking findings indeed!

The World Health Organization recommends that children be physically active at least 60 minutes a day.  In confined spaces, there are many activities in which children can participate.  Consider online videos with activities. So much is available on YouTube that it just takes a bit of your time to search them out and select the ones your children will enjoy.  Your children can even assist you in choosing those videos.  Also, try old tried-but-true fun such as building indoor forts, playing hide and seek, dancing to music and jumping rope. 

Experts recommend keeping a journal of activities and even rewarding children afterwards.  The key is to reinforce positive behavior and build good habits.

For more information, please visit the following:

• Coronavirus Lockdown Found to Worsen Childhood Obesity

• Coronavirus Child Obesity Exercise          

• How to Keep Your Children Active and Healthy While in Isolation

Celebrating the Importance of Families on International Family Day on May 15

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The importance of the family unit is celebrated all over the world.  In fact, the United Nations passed a resolution in 1993 establishing the International Day of Families as an annual recognition of the paramount importance of families.  The resolution provided, in part, the following:

“This annual observance reflects the importance which the international community attaches to families as basic units of society as well as its concern regarding their situation around the world. The International Day of Families provides an opportunity to promote awareness of issues relating to families as well as to promote appropriate action.  The Day can become a powerful mobilizing factor on behalf of families in all countries, which avail themselves of this opportunity and demonstrate support of family issues appropriate to each society.”

For Christians, the family unit plays a vital role both physically and spiritually.  We have a physical, earthly family with parents and siblings and other members.  And, when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become members of the spiritual family of God our Father as we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. (Romans 8:15; Galatians 3:26-29).   From the Old Testament to the New Testament, God’s Word expresses the importance of family, from children honoring and obeying their parents and parents not provoking their children; the sanctity of marriage; the prohibition against adultery; and the disdain of divorce. 

The links below have some activities for families for this day.  Note that they are secular web pages but some of the ideas are worthwhile to do, especially after the COVID-19 quarantines are over.  

For more information, please visit:

• National Today - International Family Day

• International Event Day - Family Day

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Celebrate with As the Stars of the Sky

We would love to celebrate this day with your family! Our top reads or suggestions can be found below:

Celebrate International Jazz Day on April 30

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I have written before about all the numerous benefits music has on children.  International Jazz Day is celebrated on April 30 and is a wonderful opportunity to introduce your children to the world of jazz music.

What is jazz music?  According to Scholastic’s Teacher Activity Guide on Culture & Change-Black History in America, it is purely an American invention which started from blues music:

Born in the South, the blues is an African American-derived music form that recognized the pain of lost love and injustice and gave expression to the victory of outlasting a broken heart and facing down adversity. The blues evolved from hymns, work songs, and field hollers — music used to accompany spiritual, work and social functions. Blues is the foundation of jazz as well as the prime source of rhythm and blues, rock 'n' roll, and country music. The blues is still evolving and is still widely played today.

One of the most distinguishing features of jazz is what is known as improvisation.  Musicians not only play from music sheets but also create their own impromptu solo performances right on the spot.  It takes great talent to do this.

Jazz music continued to expand and grow over the years into what is known as “swing music” for dancing and then into what is known as “bepop music” in the 1940s:

In the early 1940s, jazz musicians were looking for new directions to explore. A new style of jazz was born, called bebop, had fast tempos, intricate melodies, and complex harmonies. Bebop was considered jazz for intellectuals. No longer were there huge big bands, but smaller groups that did not play for dancing audiences but for listening audiences.

The variety of jazz music is impressive, from blues to swing to bepop to Latin and Afro-Cuban jazz in more recent years.  It involves large bands or small groups or even soloist performances.  

The United Nations Educational, Scientific & Cultural Organization (UNESCO) established International Jazz Day in 2011 to recognize and promote the importance of jazz and uniting people all over the world.  Herbie Hancock, legendary jazz pianist and composer, has played a vital part in developing and promoting the day.  He said the following:

When a human being is oppressed, the natural tendency is to feel anger. Jazz is a response to oppression that is not bullets and blood. Jazz is the expression of harmony ... and at the same time of hope and freedom.

Plan some at-home lessons about jazz.  There are many famous jazz artists about whom your children can read and learn, including Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald and Dizzy Gillespie.

For more information, please visit:

• Jazz Day

• Scholastic - History of Jazz

• Smithsonian - What is Jazz?

Discussing with Your Children about Good Friday - the Death of Jesus – on April 10

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One of the important hats that I wear is being a children’s author of faith-based books.  My book It’s Not About You Mr. Easter Bunny – A Love Letter About the True Meaning of Easter tells not only the history of how “Easter” originated with bunnies and baby chicks, but of course also about the most important event in Christianity – the death and resurrection of Jesus.  To augment your discussions or if you have not yet purchased my book, today’s blog addresses talking with your children about the day designated as “Good Friday”- the death of Jesus on the cross.          

Writer Erin Mohrin said it well in her online article entitled Good Friday and Children: Making the Cross Real to Your Kids:

It is important to me that our children feel the contrast between Good Friday and (Resurrection) Sunday, because without the darkness, the light won’t shine as bright. God’s great love for us went on full display at the Cross. Experience that love with your children this year.

The death of Jesus on the cross is indeed a very sad occurrence but the focus should not be just on His physical death, but also the meaning of it.  The cross represents pain and joy – the pain that Jesus felt when He was crucified and the joy we experience because Jesus died for our sins.  It shows His overwhelming love for us and the extent to which He went to make sure that we would have everlasting life with Him in heaven.

There are many activities that children can do.  The links below provide conversation starters with your children as well as an art activity.  Please spend some time with your children to help them understand what Jesus did for us.

For more information, please visit:

• Making the Cross Real to Your Kids

• How to Explain Good Friday to Your Children

Teaching Your Children Christian Mindfulness

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There has been a lot of attention on and encouragement for adults to develop mindfulness, especially through yoga and meditation.  There is also a growing movement to teach children about mindfulness.  As Christians, we are called to “rest in the Lord,” meaning that we should spend quiet time with the Lord and trust Him.  This week I wanted to take a look at Christian mindfulness and how you can help your children develop it.

Just what is mindfulness? A simple definition is to be attentive to the present.  Our thoughts race around in our minds throughout the day.  How much are we aware of what is happening now – in the present time?  At the website, christiansimplicity.com, the writer gives a wonderful description of Christian mindfulness: “Because God is part of our everyday lives, paying attention to God and focusing on God’s kingdom is a fundamental practice of Christian mindfulness.”  The writer refers to it as “mindfulness Jesus-style.”  I like that!

Living in the present means that we are to have our hope in God and not dwell on our worries.  We should be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.

Meditation is a good way to develop mindfulness.   Christiansimplicity.com further recommends using scripture during meditation:

Christian meditation can be as simple as sitting still for ten minutes, breathing easily, and repeating a line of Scripture. Good phrases for this kind of meditation are “Maranatha” and “Be still and know that I am God.” This kind of meditation renews both our minds and our spirits. It provides a centeredness that helps us listen for God. It also trains us over time to release all the distracting thoughts that occur to us during the average day and refocus on what matters.

Children need assistance in dealing with their emotions and worries.  Select appropriate scripture verses that they can easily memorize.  Encourage them to take some time each day to sit quietly and repeat scripture or to just experience the present moment.

To learn more, CLICK HERE.

How to Handle Your Children’s Fears and Phobias

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Many children develop fears, which can then turn into phobias.  These may involve insects, dogs, thunder and lightning, flying on a plane and darkness, for example.  As a parent, what can you do to help your children

Experts say that fears can develop around the ages of 6 to 12 and be a normal part of growing up.  Parents are encouraged to address these fears in the following ways:

• Talk with your children about their fears.  Let them know that you are there for them.

• Do not belittle, criticize or ridicule your children for having a fear.

• Do not force your children “suck it up” and be brave.  They must have the opportunity to discuss what they are feeling and have your support and encouragement to overcome their fears.

• Protect them when possible.  For example, if your children are afraid of large dogs, make sure that you know whether there are any in your neighborhood.  If there are, do not take your children to that area.  Perhaps you can speak with your neighbor about your children’s fear and when the time is right, introduce the dog to your children.

A verse that I often used with my children is the one on today’s blog – 2 Timothy 1:7 - and you can use it too.  Go over what the words mean so they can easily understand the verse.  Help them memorize it.  Say it with them several times during the day so it gets into their spirits. 

If you try many different methods but your children are still suffering from various fears, consider getting professional counseling.  Your children need to be able to deal with their fears. 

For more information, please click here: Understanding Childhood Fears and Anxieties

Heavy Backpacks Can Cause Back Pain

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Have you looked at your children’s backpacks lately?  How large and heavy are they? I have seen so many children walking hunched over while carrying heavy backpacks. All this weight on a child’s spine is not good.

In an online article entitled Backpacks and Back Pain in Children, Dr. John Triano describes what can happen to a child’s spine.  Carrying a heavy backpack can cause the following:

• Distort the natural curves in the middle and lower backs, causing muscle strain and irritation to the spine joints and the rib cage. If the backpack is carried on one shoulder, the spine leans to the opposite side.

• Lead to rounding of the shoulders

• Cause a person to lean forward, reducing balance and making it easier to fall

• Pull on the neck muscles, contributing to headache, shoulder pain, lower back pain, and/or neck and arm pain.

Some researchers suggest that the weight of the backpack should be limited to 10%-15% of the child’s body weight.  Also recommended is using a separate bag for the child's laptop or other heavier electronic items.

Dr. Triano suggests that parents select backpacks with the following:

• Lightweight material (canvas as opposed to leather)

• Two padded, wide (2-inches), adjustable shoulder straps on the backpack

• Padded back

• Individualized compartments

• Hip strap, waist belt, or frame to redistribute the weight of the backpack from the shoulders and back to the pelvis

• Wheels so that the backpack can be pulled rather than carried.

Be sure to monitor what your children put in their backpacks.  Often, they just continue to stuff things inside without cleaning them out and organizing them.  This leads to them carrying a lot of unnecessary items.

To learn more, please read the entire article by clicking here.

Overcoming Hectic School Mornings

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All parents have suffered through those hectic school mornings.  Getting ourselves and our children ready on time is often challenging.  Here are some pointers adopted by successful parents to overcome those chaotic times.

Get enough sleep the night before.  Your children should have a regular routine for going to bed at night with that routine including a regular time to get to bed and praying together.  There should not be any exceptions on a school night.  Children need adequate sleep and if they are not getting it, their performance at home and in school will show it.

Prepare, prepare, prepare the night before.  Preparation is the key to a smooth sailing morning.  Consider all the tasks that need to be done in the morning and prepare the night before for them so that they can be accomplished easily that morning.  Remember to get your children involved in all the preparations so that they learn what needs to be done and can take over when they are able to.  Select your children’s clothing.  If they take a lunch to school, prepare their lunches that night or at least double check to make sure you have all the ingredients.  Pack the lunch kits when possible.  Have their bookbags ready with the completed homework and anything else that they will need the next day. Make sure to double check whether they need any materials for school – such as pencils or notebooks.  All those can be packed that night as well. Don’t forget about their breakfasts.  Prepare ahead of time to ensure that that they have healthy food to eat. 

Have a checklist, just in case.  I’m a person who loves checklists but they have to be manageable.   Having a short list for each child to do will help you (and them) to better prepare. 

Wake up before your children.  You, as a parent, have important tasks that you need to get done in the morning too, including having some quiet time to pray.  It is best that your tasks are completed (or almost completed) before you take on helping your children to get ready.  Waking up before your children will give you the ability to do what you need to do and be ready when they get up.  When they do wake up, pray with them to help them start the day with a thankful heart and direction.

Organize your home. Everything needs its place in your home.  Lunch kits in one area, school related items in another area, etc., etc. Being organized will help you and your children get prepared quickly and efficiently.

For more information, please read:

• Morning Routine for Kids

• School Mornings Without the Stress

Bullying has Long Lasting Effects on Children

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Despite the fact that bullying has been a topic of much discussion and intervention for the past several years, it continues to be a major problem in our schools.  Experts say that the long-term effects of bullying on a child victim can be very detrimental and last into adulthood.  And, the aggressor’s bullying can also continue into adulthood.

Many ailments have been connected to bullying, such as depression, eating disorders, self-harm, and post-traumatic stress disorder.  Inevitably, the child victim suffers from a loss of confidence.

The negative feelings associated with being a victim of bullying can lead to anger problems which may require therapy and medications.   Often, the child withdraws from social contacts, which then leaves him isolated.  It is critical to intervene as quickly as possible if this happens because isolation can lead to suicidal tendencies.

Interestingly, bullying tendencies as a child have been linked to sexual harassment as an adult.  A December 2016 study published in the journal Children and Youth Services Review showed that “43% of the children surveyed (from middle school to high school) had been the victims of verbal sexual harassment (including sexual comments, jokes, and gestures) in the past year.” One of the experts who was involved in the study said that the bullying tendencies associated with sexual harassment can have their beginnings long before the person becomes an adult: “Schools are breeding grounds for harassment of women.  What we see in college starts in K to twelve.”

To read more about the long-term effects of bullying, go to:

• Long-term Effects of Bullying on the Victim

• Myths About Victims of Bullying

• Truths About Bullying Only Victims Understand

• How Bullying is Linked to Sexual Harassment

Eating a Healthy Breakfast is Connected to Good Academic Performance

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The beginning of a new school year is always challenging for parents and children.  We parents usually have different concerns than our children as we center our attention on how to assist them with doing well in all aspects of school.  Yet, we share with them the goal of good academic performance.  Science has shown that a child who starts the day with a good breakfast is already leaps ahead in performing well in school.

According to an online article on the website for the National Center for Biotechnical Information/National Institutes of Health, the importance of a healthy breakfast cannot be overstated yet it is the most frequently skipped meal, with 20% to 30% of children skipping it.

Studies “generally demonstrate that eating breakfast has a positive effect on children's cognitive performance, particularly in the domains of memory and attention.” Children who eat breakfast have an increase in cognitive performance, meaning an increase in attention skills so that they can perform their lessons well. This also translates to an ability to attend school regularly and remember information that is taught.  Additionally, their behavior in class is dramatically affected because they can concentrate better and perform the necessary tasks.

It is important for us to understand that children’s brains are developing and are different than those of adults.  The article points out that children have a higher brain glucose metabolism than adults.  “To maintain this higher metabolic rate, a continuous supply of energy derived from glucose is needed, hence breakfast consumption may be vital in providing adequate energy for the morning.”

Not only does breakfast assist a child academically, but it also helps the child to maintain proper body weight.  Children who skip are more likely to be overweight and not eat healthy snacks or satisfy the recommended daily vegetable and fruit intake.  Not surprising is the connection between skipping breakfast and “risky behaviors” such as smoking and experimenting with alcohol and drugs.

Plan for healthy breakfasts ahead of time.  Make them easy and fun.  There are plenty of books and online articles with suggested recipes.  Give your children the important start for their school day and help them reach their goals of academic success.

To learn more, go to:

• The effects of breakfast on behavior and academic performance in children and adolescents

• The Science Behind Breakfast

Riddles – Fun & Educational for Your Children

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Riddles are often called brain teasers for a reason.  They help your children to think outside the box and in multi-dimensional ways.   When was the last time that you went over some riddles with your children?  Pick up a book at the library or a bookstore, or go to a website listed below to have some fun time.

I love riddles!  When you are driving with your children or spending time with them in other ways, asking them riddles is a great way to pass the time and help them learn.  After asking the riddle, try not to give the answer right away if your children are struggling to find the answer.  Help them on the journey to find that answer.  For example, here is a good riddle to get your children to think logically:

Q: You walk into a room with a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.

If your children do not get the correct answer right away, ask such questions as: can a candle light itself? Of course, the answer is “no”.  Ask that same question for each of the other items – a kerosene lamp and a fireplace.  The answers would still be “no”.  For any of those 3 items to get “light”, you would have to light the match first. 

Please be warned that there are some very difficult riddles out there and some that do not make much sense.  Review the riddles yourself before asking them to your children.  Is the riddle age appropriate?  Will my child learn from the riddle?

Here are some websites that are filled with interesting and challenging riddles:

• 45 Riddles and Brain Teasers for Kids

• Icebreaker Riddles for Kids

Singing Helps Your Children’s Development

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(Photo of the children’s group Lake Norman Singers)

After recently reading a newspaper article about how singing is beneficial for adults, I thought that it must have many more benefits for children.  I did some research and this week’s blog is about just that.   Children love to sing and singing helps their intellectual and emotional development in many different ways.

The advantages of having children sing are explained: 

1. Singing helps a child improve his vocabulary by learning new words.  Experts say that parents should start from when the child is very young, as singing nursery rhymes and simple songs can be a foundation upon which words are built.

2. For young children, it helps them learn to communicate by exercising lip and tongue movement.

3. It helps develop the “memory muscle” – when your child is learning a song, tunes and words are being embedded in your child’s mind.

4. It helps develop creativity.  Your child can create songs about anything and anyone. Make the words rhyme or not.  There is no limit to what type of song can be written and sung.

5. It helps your child develop self-confidence.  As your child practices a new song with both words and tunes, she will become more confident as she masters it.

6. When your child sings with a group, it helps him to develop better social skills as he will be learning and building friendships at the same time.

The websites listed below give parents and caregivers many tips as to how to encourage singing.  They range from singing before bedtime or just making up songs while you are at home to looking for singing classes or a group in which your children can participate.  Make it fun.  Your children will enjoy themselves and learn at the same time. 

For more information, please visit these websites:

• How Singing Can Support Learning

• Five Benefits of Singing for Children

• https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/08/singing-children-development-language-skills

The Importance of Having Family Devotional Time

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Parents play such a vital role in their children’s lives and forming their character – this is a theme that permeates my blog posts.  Being a parent who actually wants to impact their children requires you to spend time with them, including devotional and prayer time. 

First and foremost, we must start with you as a parent.  Do you have time set aside each day for your own devotions and prayer life?  Children are very observant and will likely follow your example rather than your words.  Explain to your children why you have a devotional time and how it benefits you.  Spending time reading the Bible, meditating on a scripture verse, being quiet and alone with God, praying – these can all be ways to spend devotional time.

Now, to get your family involved requires planning.  Are your children toddlers or teenagers or both?   Activities should be directed at your children’s different ages. For example, do not expect your 4 year-old to sit still for long periods of time.  Plan having an activity such as coloring available that focuses on the theme for that day’s or week’s devotional.  Read a Bible story.  Talk with your children and ask them questions.  Let them ask you questions too.

There are many children and youth-friendly books for devotional time.   And, the internet has many websites as to what families can do together.  Start off with a length of time that is short so that when it is well planned, the time will fly by.  Make it a happy family time rather than a burden.  Children especially do not want to participate in an activity that is mundane. 

As your children get older, they should be encouraged to have their own devotional time as well.  Family devotional time can become the foundation for their own private devotions. 

For some recommendations of books to include, CLICK HERE.

Parents - Be Aware of the Dangers of E-Cigarette Use by Youth

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On December 18, 2018, the Surgeon General of the United States Vice Admiral Jerome M. Adams issued a public health advisory on the dangers of e-cigarette use.  He called the use among our youth “an epidemic” and asks all of  us to step up and help protect our children from this major public health threat.

According to the Advisory, e-cigarettes entered the U.S. market in 2007 and since 2014, are the most widely used tobacco product by youth.  In 2018, use grew by 20.8% so that 1 in 5 high school students and 1 in 20 middle school students used e-cigarettes.  These cigarettes come in different shapes, sizes and flavors and have become very attractive to youth, especially with so much effective advertising geared toward the youth.  It is also important to know that, in addition to using various flavors, marijuana is being used in e-cigarettes too.  

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The Surgeon General warned that e-cigarette aerosol can be harmful as it usually has nicotine, which is an addictive drug.  “Nicotine exposure during adolescence can harm the developing brain – which continues to develop until about age 25. Nicotine exposure during adolescence can impact learning, memory, and attention. Using nicotine in adolescence can also increase risk for future addiction to other drugs. In addition to nicotine, the aerosol that users inhale and exhale from e-cigarettes can potentially expose both themselves and bystanders to other harmful substances, including heavy metals, volatile organic compounds, and ultrafine particles that can be inhaled deeply into the lungs.”

He refers to this growing use as a “public health epidemic” and asks us assist in the fight to protect our children.  The Advisory provides helpful information as to what can be done by parents, teachers, health professionals, as well as government entities. 

The Advisory ends with the following: “KNOW THE RISKS. TAKE ACTION. PROTECT OUR KIDS.”

To read the full advisory, CLICK HERE.

For other interesting articles on the dangers of e-cigarettes, visit:

• Power to the Parent

• CDC: Exposure to eCigarette Advertising to Middle and High School Students

• Youth Exposure to Vaping Products

The Importance of Teaching Civics to Our Children

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What are our privileges, rights and duties as citizens in our democracy?  As a Christian, a lawyer and former judge, I believe that children should be taught more about civics so that they grow up with the knowledge of what our democracy entails and actively participate in our government. 

I have heard many judges from all over the United States lament the fact that people do not want to serve on juries.  It is like pulling teeth to have people serve. Yet, jury duty is a very important part of our civic duty.  Did you know that?

In an op-ed dated February 11, 2019 in the LA Times online, retired teacher Sandy Asper wrote about what she believed was the need to teach children not only social studies, but also a separate course about civics – what a good citizen should know and do.  She argued that just teaching children facts, such as when the U. S. Constitution was written and why it was written, is not enough to give them a full understanding of citizenship.   She wrote:

“It is incredibly important that students learn that what they think matters, and how to determine what they think by researching and learning.  It’s critical that they understand the importance of taking action and learning how to do it. It’s crucial to our country that students learn how to communicate; how to write letters, text, call, march, take part in elections, join, organize. In other words, they learn how to become an actual citizen.”

I couldn’t agree more with Ms. Asper’s view.  Moreover, I would add other subjects to teach within civics such as how our government is set up with 3 branches – executive, judicial and legislative - both nationally and locally,  and the important duty of serving on a jury. 

To raise children who are active in their community, we must teach them the importance of what it means to be a citizen.  Only then will we have more participation in what our government does and what it looks like.

Parents Should Monitor the Music Their Children Listen To

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I saw this statement on the internet as I was researching the theme for today’s blog post - parents monitoring their children’s music - and thought it was an interesting perspective to write about to address this topic.  Proverbs 22:6 states that we parents are to, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

The subject about offensive music came up recently after a close friend of mine attended an exercise class at a sports facility in a large urban area.  Music videos were shown as part of the exercise experience.  My friend told me that the young instructor bragged about how her mother often attended her classes.  Unfortunately, my friend did not have a good experience - she was not only shocked by the extremely vulgar words in the songs, but also the dance moves in the videos.  Repeated curse words as well as sexually explicit language and dance moves were a part of almost every song.  As it turned out, the instructor’s mother did not attend class that day.   My friend commented that she believed the instructor’s mother would have been highly offended and embarrassed by the music had she been there.  She also questioned whether the instructor would have played these music videos with her mother there and sighed in relief that no men attended the class that day because she said she, as a woman, would have been embarrassed.

There can be no dispute that much of the musical lyrics today is filled with vulgar and sexually explicit language- especially in certain genres.  What should Christian parents do?  Parents must be vigilant, as they play a very important role in deciding what music their children listen to when at home.   I’m a firm believer that when children are in your home, they should abide by your rules.  Of course, teenagers especially will complain about peer pressure and fitting in with their friends.   But, you must set parameters and train up your child as you feel is right and godly.

I don’t believe that any parent would even consider allowing his child to have in the home any literature or videos promoting racism, pornography, or violence against women, for example.  So why would a Christian parent allow his child to have music that is laced with vulgarity and sexual explicitness?  Plain and simple – that type of music should not be accepted.

Talk with your children and explain why you are setting boundaries.  And, importantly, ask them whether they would play that type of music if you were sitting in the car with them or talking with them in their bedroom?  If they believe that a song would be offensive to you as a parent, then it should be offensive to them too!

Celebrating March as Women’s History Month

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March is celebrated annually as Women’s History Month.  It began back in 1911 when the first international women’s day was held.  In 1980, President Jimmy Carter entered a proclamation declaring the week of March 8, 1980 as Women’s History Week to celebrate all the contributions that women have made.  Seven years later, the U.S. Congress passed a public law authorizing the president to declare the month of March each year as Women’s History Month.

The National Women’s History Alliance selects the theme each year.  For 2019, the theme is “Visionary Women: Champions of Peace & Nonviolence”.  This theme honors "women who have led efforts to end war, violence, and injustice and pioneered the use of nonviolence to change society."

An excellent source of information about women’s history is www.womenshistory.org.   It has an enormous amount of information about events and also features articles, exhibits, and even has tools for students and educators.

I encourage parents to spend time with their children learning more about women in history. Perhaps consider volunteering at your children’s schools or at a community event to promote the importance of women.Women have played vital roles in our families, communities, and governments.Our children must learn more about the contributions of women to truly appreciate them.

Be Very Mindful of How You Speak to Your Children – Part 2

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This blog post is part 2 of how we as parents should speak to our children. Part 1 can be found here. I love what this quote from Brooke Hampton says as to how we should speak to them – “as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth ….”  And then, based on what we say to them, their belief system in themselves is being created: “what they believe is what they will become.”

Proverbs 23:7 says that “for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”  A child often believes or thinks what he has been told, whether it is the truth or not.

As parents, we develop in our children what they will think about themselves.  If we notice and react to our children’s faults right away and then criticize or punish them, we are developing in our children the tendency to be critical about themselves.  Make a commitment to change that.  Actively look for what your children are doing right each day and praise them for it.  When the time comes that you will have to deal with something that they did that was unacceptable, the positive words will outweigh the negative ones.

When you are speaking words of kindness, encouragement, and love, make a point of stopping what you are doing and focus on them.  Have them stop what they are doing too.  Get their attention.  After speaking these words, observe what happens to their demeanor.  They will light up!  It’s as if the most important person in the world (well you are to them) truly believed in them. What could be more important?

Ask yourselves: aren’t your children, in fact, the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth to you?The answer is clearly “yes”.So let’s speak to them as they deserve to be spoken to!

Be Very Mindful of How You Speak to Your Children – Part 1

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I have always profoundly believed that we parents form the foundation for the way our children view the world and themselves.  Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue has the power of life and death.  When you speak to your children and about your children, what do you say?

The quote for today’s blog from Peggy O’Mara rings so true to me.  The way we talk to our children does, in fact, become their inner voice.  How else can children know how others view or describe them except by hearing it first from their parents. 

From my own personal experiences growing up as a child, I know that what my parents said about me always resonated in my head.  I was often described by them as being “shy”, “quiet”, and “smart”.  Whenever I was introduced to an adult, my parents would use those three words to say something about me.  I grew up with those words ringing in my head.  Now, as a mother of two sons, I understand the power of any sort of “description” I speak of my sons.   I have tried very hard to only speak positive words.

In my professional career as a judge who presided over many juvenile delinquent and juvenile offender cases, I heard the demeaning words that parents would often speak about their children to me in court, and usually, these juveniles were young men.  As their parents told me derogatory things about them, the young men would just stand with their heads down, ashamed and not knowing what to do.  But, I knew that their parents’ criticism and derogation did not just start then. 

Are you speaking words of encouragement and hope to your children? Even in anger, we parents can lose control and say mean things.  Once these words are said, though, it is hard to forget them.  Develop the habit of pausing before you speak.  This will allow you to gather your thoughts and control your tongue.

I encourage you to talk to your children with positive, supportive words.  Help strengthen their inner voice so they develop faith in themselves and truly love who they are.