Proverbs 22:6

Some Important Things for Parents to do to Raise Successful Children

Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life.
Proverbs 22:6 (TPT)

 

During these days of quarantine due to the Coronavirus pandemic, parents are staying home with their children.  With a growing body of information filled with all kinds of recommendations of things that parents should do with their children, how can parents decide on what are the most important?  Although this is a Christian blog, I will concentrate today on what the world of science promotes. 

Here are some of the best recommendations:

  1. Read with and to your children.  Importantly, when reading a book, take your time and make it exciting.  Change your voice depending on the characters.  Talk with your children about the plot.  Look at the pictures.  As a children’s author, I know that pictures in a book are very important so don’t just read the book quickly with a monotonous voice and move on.

  2. Have them do chores to build a work ethic. Once a task is assigned, monitor them and explain to them how to do it better.  Don’t nag and don’t accept complaints from them.  Make sure that they follow through.

  3. Have dinner together regularly as a family.  Studies have shown that children who have dinner with their families have lower substance abuse, depression and pregnancy issues and do better in school.  Children want to be loved and one way to show them love is to spend time together as a family.

  4. Limit the use of mobile devices and screen time, especially for younger children.  Too much screen time has been shown to negatively affect children.  Again, it’s important for you to monitor their activities and ensure that they are abiding by the rules.

  5. Praise your children properly.  Don’t praise them for their innate abilities – example: “You aced that exam because you are so smart!”  Instead, praise them for their effort – example: “You aced the exam because you really studied hard and put a lot of effort into your work.”  With the former praise example, there is truly nothing they can do about improving as they will think that they are “naturally smart”.  In the latter example, they learn that their success depends on their positive efforts.

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Parents Should Monitor the Music Their Children Listen To

I saw this statement on the internet as I was researching the theme for today’s blog post - parents monitoring their children’s music - and thought it was an interesting perspective to write about to address this topic.  Proverbs 22:6 states that we parents are to, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

The subject about offensive music came up recently after a close friend of mine attended an exercise class at a sports facility in a large urban area.  Music videos were shown as part of the exercise experience.  My friend told me that the young instructor bragged about how her mother often attended her classes.  Unfortunately, my friend did not have a good experience - she was not only shocked by the extremely vulgar words in the songs, but also the dance moves in the videos.  Repeated curse words as well as sexually explicit language and dance moves were a part of almost every song.  As it turned out, the instructor’s mother did not attend class that day.   My friend commented that she believed the instructor’s mother would have been highly offended and embarrassed by the music had she been there.  She also questioned whether the instructor would have played these music videos with her mother there and sighed in relief that no men attended the class that day because she said she, as a woman, would have been embarrassed.

There can be no dispute that much of the musical lyrics today is filled with vulgar and sexually explicit language- especially in certain genres.  What should Christian parents do?  Parents must be vigilant, as they play a very important role in deciding what music their children listen to when at home.   I’m a firm believer that when children are in your home, they should abide by your rules.  Of course, teenagers especially will complain about peer pressure and fitting in with their friends.   But, you must set parameters and train up your child as you feel is right and godly.

I don’t believe that any parent would even consider allowing his child to have in the home any literature or videos promoting racism, pornography, or violence against women, for example.  So why would a Christian parent allow his child to have music that is laced with vulgarity and sexual explicitness?  Plain and simple – that type of music should not be accepted.

Talk with your children and explain why you are setting boundaries.  And, importantly, ask them whether they would play that type of music if you were sitting in the car with them or talking with them in their bedroom?  If they believe that a song would be offensive to you as a parent, then it should be offensive to them too!

Teaching Your Children Good Manners

“In everything, treat others the same way you want them to treat you, for this is [the essence of] the Law and the [writings of the] Prophets.”  Matthew 7:12

    The subject of good manners is not discussed as much as it should be.  As Christians, this Bible verse establishes the basis for good manners.  Essentially, good manners are built on the foundation that you treat others the same way as you would want to be treated and are an expression of love from the heart.  According to Proverbs 22:6, parents have a Biblical duty to teach and train their children: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

    As a parent, what can you do to help your children learn good manners.  First, children need good role models to emulate.  Do you as the parent exhibit good manners?  You can’t demand that your children say “thank you” and “please” if you don’t. 

    Second, in teaching good manners, start with a few basics such as “thank you” and “please” and “excuse me” and “sorry”.  Don’t make it complicated.  Notice when your children are using good manners, and praise them for it.  Once these basics are mastered, move on to other words and actions.  Before you know it, you and your children are on the way to becoming the best mannered people in your neighborhood.