Have Interesting Dinner Conversations With Your Children

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Dinner is one of the most important times during the day that you can spend talking with your children and learning more about them.  But, if your children are like mine, they usually have one or two word responses to questions.  How was your day? “Fine.”  Did you do anything interesting at school? “Not really.” And, I have to ask everyone to put away their cell phones so that we can actually focus on talking.  Every once in a while, however, I observe someone sneaking a peak at a cell phone under the table.

What can parents do to encourage stimulating discussions with their children during dinner time?  Many experts agree that making dinner a regular ritual is important.  Children need order and regularity in their lives, so parents should plan to have regular dinners with them most days of the week.  Another recommendation is to ensure that all devices are turned off.  Everyone at the table should be focused on listening and talking to and with each other.  No cell phones, tablets, computers, or televisions should be on or at the dinner table.

Experts also recommend to plan ahead so that you have good questions and conversation starters, and not to ask the same questions each night.  Change it up a bit.  Make it fun.  Ask questions about a grandparent’s heritage or the funniest thing that happened that day or the grossest thing they have ever eaten or what is their favorite song and why.   The questions are unlimited.  It takes your commitment as a parent to think and plan for these conversations during dinners with your children and see them as special opportunities for everyone to learn about each other.

How to Choose a Bible for Your Children

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Do you have a Bible for your children?  Many parents buy story books for their children with stories out of the Bible because they do not believe that their children will be able to understand the Bible.  I continue to encourage parents to buy an actual Bible for their children so that they can begin to read God’s Word for themselves.

In the online article Choosing a Child’s Bible, writer T. Capps provides some excellent guidance in selecting the right Bible for your children.  Important considerations are:

1. Make sure that you purchase a Bible that is the right reading level for your child.

2. Buy a Bible that is the complete Bible, and not just one part.  That way, your children learn from young about the Old and New Testaments.

3.  If the Bible has pictures, ensure that they are accurate and not cartoon characters or scary.  The Bible is not a cartoon book, and children should not think of it as such.

4. Purchase a Bible that has maps and other information to help your children learn more about the time periods.  Maps, timelines, etc., offer assistance to children and make the Bible more understandable.

5. Make sure that the Bible is durable and further consider a cover for it so that it can last many years.

The author makes many more helpful suggestions.  Spend time considering what Bible to purchase as it will be a prized possession for your children for many years. To read the entire article, click here.

All Christians Should Join in Celebrating Black History Month

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February has been designated Black History Month.  No matter what race or national origin you and your family are, there is so much that we can learn about ourselves and our nation by studying and celebrating African American history.

An online editorial by crosswalk.com editors entitled “The Importance of Black History Month to Christians” is worthy of reading to understand why Christians should participate.  The editors quote writer David Mathis, who acknowledges being a white American who grew up as an unsympathetic youth to the struggles of African Americans, but has changed:

“Such is not the spirit of Christ, nor is it walking by his Spirit to suspect the worst of non-blacks who rush to join the annual celebration. Nor is it Christian — not in this nation or any other place on the planet — to keep silent with our children about the realities of ethnicity in view of Christ. If we don’t cast a positive vision for our children about the glories of God-designed ethnic diversity, we leave their inherent ethnocentrism to swell and take root.”

“Black History Month isn’t simply about ethnic diversity in general, but remembering the horrors of our shared history and celebrating the progress that has been made, in God’s common kindness, and specifically the many successes of black Americans despite such a history. Christians honor this month, at least in part, because it helps us understand the awful plight of a people made in God’s image, many of them fellow believers, and acknowledges God’s goodness at work in remarkable achievements…in and through a people who often have been treated with utter wickedness.”

Plan to read to your children or have your children read at least one book about a famous African American.  Here are a few Christian African Americans to consider, many of whom you have probably never heard of before:

1.  Bishop Richard Allen – said to be the “Father of the Black Church”;

2.  Bishop William Seymour – started the fiery Christian teachings in California in the early 20th Century that ultimately led to what is known as the Azusa Street Revival and the beginning of the charismatic movement;

3. Thomas Dorsey – musician and composer who helped develop Gospel music;

4.  Mordecai Johnson – educator and pastor who became the first African American president of Howard University; and

5. Rosa Parks – a devout Christian who relied on her faith to refuse to give up her bus seat because of the color of her skin.

You can read the entire editorial by CLICKING HERE.

How Can Christian Parents Build Self-Esteem in Their Children?

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Although my quote for today’s blog is not from the Bible, I believe it to be nonetheless very appropriate about self-esteem.  Just what is self-esteem? Essentially, it is the way a child thinks of himself/herself.  As Christian parents, what can we do to build self-esteem in our children?  We, of course, do not want them to grow up to be conceited and self-absorbed but there is a balance between healthy self-esteem and an inflated ego that we should understand.

First, we need to know and fully appreciate how God sees us and there are a number of Bible verses that show us that God sees us as very special. For example, Genesis 1:27 says that “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him”.  Psalm 139:14 says “(f)or You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  In Ephesians 2:10, we are described as “God’s masterpiece”. Since He created us as such valuable, superior beings, we should see ourselves that way.

Second, it is important to make clear to our children that they should not rely on anyone’s praise from day to day to have self-esteem.  We, as parents, may praise our children some days, but not on other days.  Also, other people may not praise them, but in fact, may say negative things to them.  Their self-esteem and confidence should derive from God, who is always consistent and loving, and not from humans.  Help your children learn and memorize Bible verses that mention how special they are.  It is the Word of God that will serve as the foundation of their confidence.

Third, each child has different strengths.  Focus on building those strengths.  Remind them that all their gifts and strengths come from God. James 1:17 (“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights”).

Are You Just a Mother or Father or are You a Special Mommy or Daddy?

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My oldest sister Sylvia gave me this plaque as a gift for Mother’s Day about 20 years ago.  It says simply: Anyone can be a mother but it takes someone special to be a mommy.  At the time, my oldest son Zac was about 9 years old and his brother James was 4 years old.  I have treasured that plaque since and keep it on my bathroom counter where I see it every day.  You can probably observe the age on it with all the scratches.  Sylvia has long passed away, but her memory and love continue on.

I felt so proud and honored that she noticed that I was a “mommy” and not just a mother.  I invested my love and time in my sons, as did my late husband Gordon.  We cherished them. I played with them; helped them with homework; read with them; drove them to school and afterschool sports; took them to church, etc., etc.  I wanted to impart all I could in my sons so that they would grow up to be loving, caring, smart young men who above all loved the Lord.

It’s not easy to be a mommy or daddy.  It takes a lot of time, energy, and commitment, but it is totally worth it.  Today, my sons are both in their 20s and have grown up to be sons whom I admire and respect.  To God be the glory!

Teaching Our Children About Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Monday, January 16, is a federal holiday in honor of the great civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  What do you plan to do that day with your children?  Is it just another day off for you to spend time doing chores at home or shopping?  I strongly suggest that you take the time to plan celebrating this holiday and teaching your children about all the accomplishments of this American hero and his tremendous impact on us, and of course, incorporate reading into all your activities.

What are some of the things that you can do?  In her online article on Scholastic.com, Teach Kids About Martin Luther King, Jr., author Denene Millner makes some good suggestions.  First, she says to be honest when talking with your children, even though it may be painful.  Explain to your children that there were days when “Colored People” had their own drinking water fountains.  Tell them about being forced to sit in the back of a bus or to attend separate schools just because of the color of your skin.  Show them pictures of the past so that they can see for themselves what actually happened.

Second, discuss what Dr. King did that directly affects us today and how he promoted nonviolence.

Third, attend and volunteer at events that honor him.  Do some research in your community to find out what are the best activities for your family.

In addition to what Ms. Millner recommends, I would like to recommend that parents discuss who Dr. King was.  Let your children find out all about his interesting background, including that he was a brilliant man who started college when he was 15 years old!  I’m certain that he did a lot of reading as he grew up.  Importantly, he was not only a brave leader, but he was also a husband, father, and minister.

There are many wonderful books about Dr. King for every age group.  Visit your local library or bookstore.  He should not be just a memory in history.  Make this hero come alive for your children because there is so much that they can learn from him.

To read Ms. Millner’s entire article, click here.

What is One of the Most Important New Year’s Resolutions That You Can Make For Your Children? Read more!

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    I came across this post by an unknown author about reading to your children.  As you may know, my blog centers on improving the lives of children, primarily through literacy.  It should be no surprise that I would continue to inspire adults to read more to and with children.  As we begin a new year, I encourage you to add that as a New Year’s resolution as it keeps reading on your most important things “to do” list each day.  

    As the unknown author writes, it only can take 20 minutes a day.  That is 20 minutes out of 1,440 minutes that we have each and every day.  Surely you can squeeze in the time!  But, if there is one day that you just have 10 minutes, still do it.  Don’t put reading off to a time in the future when you believe you will have “enough time” because often, that time does not happen.   Make procrastinating a thing of the past and just do it!

    What about where and when to read?  The author again gives you some suggestions.  Think about all the things that you do each day that require some sort of waiting time, and then add reading.  While you do laundry … while dinner cooks – these are just a few of those times.   Moreover, read during any time of the day – especially on weekends and holidays.  Search for opportunities to read. 

    I love it when the author suggests to “Hide the remote; let the computer games cool.”  We all know that these electronic devices steal reading time away from us.  So, in other words, don’t even turn on the television.  If you have it on, turn it off and then don’t let anyone else turn it on while reading is going on.  With computer games, you may have to pull your children away from them, but pull, pull, pull!  Those games won’t go anywhere and when you give the approval for your children to return to them, they will still be there.

    While reading, have your children snuggle close to you.  This is a wonderful time to bond and love on them.  They hear your voice.  They feel your warm touch.  They know that they are truly loved!  And, as the author says “Hey, don’t quit.”  Tomorrow is another day to read, and read, and read some more.

Helping Your Children To Make New Year’s Resolutions

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It’s the beginning of a brand-new year and I’m sure that many of you have already sat down and written a list of resolutions to start off the year right.  Some parents think that new year’s resolutions are just for them as adults.  However, parents can help their children make changes and improvements in their behaviors and habits by encouraging and helping their children to make new year’s resolutions too.

In her online article 8 Ways to Help Kids Make New Year’s Resolutions, author Wendy Schuman gives some good advice.  First, she encourages parents to be role models for their children in making and following through with resolutions.   For example, if eating healthy is at the top of your list as a parent, make sure that you do your best to purchase healthy food and eat it.  Include your children in making healthy food choices and planning healthy meals.  And, ensure that there are plenty of nutritious snacks around, as we all know that kids love to snack.

Second, have your child write a short list of resolutions of just 2 or 3.  Ask your child: “What is the most important improvements that he would like to make?”  A long list can lead to frustrations when your child does not achieve every single item listed.

Third, be positive.  Don’t look for every time that your child has not followed through on a resolution and nag about it.  A nagging or criticizing parent can cause a child to develop a lack of self-confidence.  Instead, if your child does not follow through, try to remind him of the many successes that he has had in the past.  Encourage him to not give up and continue toward making the resolution a reality.  Each day is a new day and your child can always begin again.

Fourth, develop a family ritual around resolutions.  Get together as a family and share each person’s resolutions.  Make them meaningful. Be kind and loving to each other rather than critical and judgmental.   This is the beginning of a fresh new year that God has blessed you and your family with.

To read her entire article, CLICK HERE.

Raising Thankful Children

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I came across this quote and was taken aback by how simple yet forthright and impactful it was.  Saying “thank you” is such an important part of our relationship with God, our Father, yet how often do we truly do it during our busy days?  How are we teaching our children to be thankful for all that He has given us?  1 Thessalonians 5:18 states “Give thanks in every circumstance for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

It’s the day after Christmas and I’m certain that we all had a lot of gifts to open and indulge in as well as scrumptious meals to enjoy.  We should be thankful for all that He has given us, not just for these physical, worldly gifts, but most importantly, for the intangible ones - our lives, our health, our family, etc., etc.  I could go on and on naming what we can be thankful for each and every second of each and every day.  

Whether we like it or not, we are role models for our children.  If we are not verbally expressing our thanks and showing thankfulness through our actions, the likelihood is that our children will not either.  To raise thankful children, we must first be thankful as parents.  Try expressing thanks out loud each day as part of the family routine, such as when you are driving them to school.  Make it fun and playful.  Point out how they can thank each other for simple acts of kindness.  As a parent, you can thank your children for things that they do, and they should be thanking you as well.  Nurture a thankful spirit within your children and they will be kinder and more loving to you and others. 

Help Your Children To Be Gift Givers and Not Just Gift Receivers

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As we approach Christmas Day, we, as parents, spend a lot of time thinking about and planning what to get our children for Christmas.  We want our gifts to be very special for them.  But consider this: God gave us His Son Jesus as the greatest gift for mankind.  God loves us so much that He is a giver!  During this holiday season, what about spending just as much time and effort teaching your children about being givers of gifts?  

Gift giving involves quite a bit of caring and planning.  First, select someone for whom your children can purchase a gift this Christmas.  That person can be a relative or someone who does not have a family.  Or is there someone in the hospital?

Second, have them find out what the person would like as a gift.  That involves getting to know the person deeply, not just in a casual or random way.  What are this person’s likes and dislikes?  If the person enjoys music, find out what specific kind of music.

Third, gift giving involves taking the time to find and purchase the appropriate gift.  Where can that special gift be purchased?  Is it available online or do you have to actually go to the store to purchase it?

Fourth, the gift should be wrapped with festive paper and ribbons, to make it look colorful, attractive and appealing.  This also takes time to select the specific paper and other ornaments to go on the package and then to carefully and lovingly wrap it.

Fifth, have your children add a special name tag or card to the gift.  Encourage them to use their creativity in creating and drawing the images.  This can be a whole project in and of itself.

Sixth, set aside that special time when your children can give the gift.  Make it unique.   And, remember to carefully observe the response of the person receiving this gift and the tremendous joy it brings.

Your children will remember these exceptional times and gifts.  They will also learn to be generous and to love and care about others, rather than just focusing on themselves.  

Are Your Parenting Skills Consistent?

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As Christian parents, we want to raise Godly children.  But, in order to do so, our parenting skills should be consistent.  Ask yourself: Do you say one thing to your children, but do another?  Do you threaten, and threaten, and threaten, but never follow through?  Consistent parenting is very important to children because it builds a sense of security and character, and ultimately leads to them having a successful life. Children need to know what the rules are and what is expected of them.  And, they need to know what happens if they break the rules or do not follow through.  

Just as our Father God gave us rules and principles to follow in the Bible and lets us know what will happen if we do not follow them, we should treat our children similarly.   First, our morals and values must be consistent.  For example, if we believe that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), we must treat them as special and not abuse them.  But are you consistent?  It is easy to tell your children not to drink alcohol because of all the negative ramifications, but do you drink with friends?  

Second, our rules and requirements must be consistent.   We should not require one child to behave a certain way, but allow another child to do something different and then make excuses for that child. 

Third, the consequences or discipline we impose should be consistent.  Do not threaten to impose specific discipline, but then not impose it when the time comes.  There will eventually come a point where your child will simply ignore what you say either because you never followed through or you were inconsistent in your follow through.  The last thing that we want to happen as parents is that our children do not listen to what we have to say. 

Allowing Our Children to Face the Consequences

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As parents, many of us do not want to see our children suffer for their mistakes or negative conduct.  We love them so much that all we want to do is protect them.  A very important parenting tool, however, is that we allow our children to face discomfort and consequences from their actions so that they can learn that their decisions and actions have ramifications in their lives.

As Christian parents, we should have rules for our children to follow.  Have your family write up some rules for everyone to follow.  If and when they violate the rules, natural consequences must follow.  These consequences can be creative ones.  In her online article Creative Consequences for Kids, author Kim Sorgius shares some of her suggestions.  She writes that first, rules at home should be simple and not give a child any wiggle room.  As an example, she requires that her children clean their room.  Once she comes to check, if she finds anything out of order or not put away, she takes the item for a period of time, such as a week.  If the problem continues, she may give the item away to charity.

Another example is when her child is too loud or whinny or saying mean things.   The consequence for that negative behavior is that the child cannot speak for a while.  This especially works well, she writes, when children are driving with you in the car.

After her article, Ms. Sorgius shares comments that other moms have written about what they do for consequences.  One mom wrote: “If you don’t eat what mama cooks you’re gonna be hungry.” How long do you think it will take your child to figure out that he had better eat what his mother or father cooks or he will go hungry?

Be sure to plan out consequences when you are not angry.  Be creative.  Your children will break rules, so expect it and help them learn how to develop character and discipline.  

Read her entire article by CLICKING HERE.

Helping Your Child with the Fear of Failure

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It is often said that the fear of failure is now a childhood epidemic.  Fear of failing causes children to not participate in sports and other activities or even try to do their best.  Children learn to make up excuses for not succeeding.  Parents can contribute to their children’s fear too by conditioning their love for their children on their children’s abilities to achieve success.  For example, a parent may indicate to a child through words or behavior that the parent only loves the child if the child is the lead scorer in a game. 

As human beings, we know that failure is a part of life.  How we deal with failure is also an important part of life.  As Christian parents, we should turn to the Bible for guidance.  God knows that we will suffer anger and disappointment but we should not forget that God is always with us, no matter what happens.  Proverbs 24:16 says that “Even if good people fall seven times, they will get up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that’s the end of them.”

There are many examples in the Bible of great men and women who suffered from fears but became overcomers, trusting in the Lord.  One of the best examples for me is Joshua, Moses’ right hand man and a great general.  After Moses died, God told to Joshua to take the people of Israel into the promised land.   In Chapter 1 of the Book of Joshua, God repeatedly told Joshua “Be strong and courageous”.  Why did God have to tell Joshua this many times?  I am certain that Joshua was fearful, even though he had been through many successful battles already.  What God was asking him to do was huge!

God explained to Joshua how he would become strong and courageous.  He said that Joshua was to keep the Bible before him, always studying and speaking it.  Additionally, God told him that He would be with him, wherever he went.  Joshua did encounter some failures, but he always came to God to understand why.  And, importantly, he never gave up.  Joshua is known for being a great man of faith.

What Are You Believing For Your Children?

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I am a living example that children are likely to grow up to what their parents believe of them. When I was growing up, my parents would tell me that I could become anything I wanted.  They stressed hard work and a good education.  Back then, there were not very many women attorneys or judges.  But, that didn’t deter me because my parents had instilled in me to dream big.  I worked diligently in school and if I brought home anything less than an “A” on my report card, my parents would be disappointed, telling me that I could have achieved an “A”.   I would work even harder to achieve that “A” because they had told me I could.

When I became a mother, I too passed on to my two sons that they could become anything they wanted.  Ask yourself – what are you believing for your children?  

When I was a judge, I heard many parents tell me in the courtroom what a disappointment their children were and even call them derogatory names.  All the while, their children are in the courtroom listening to what they are saying.  Often, the child would be hanging his or her head down while the parent was speaking.  I often cringed wondering if that is what they are saying about their children in a courtroom, I would hate to hear what they are saying to their children at home!

Proverbs 18:21 says that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”.  Examine what you are speaking about your children.  Is it life, health and prosperity?  Those should be the only words that you speak over them as words have no end in time and affect their eternity.

When Planning What Gifts to Buy Your Children This Christmas, Remember This: Your Presence is More Important

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As parents, we often spend much of our time planning what presents to buy our children, particularly as Christmas approaches.  Another video game? Another DVD? Music lessons?  Dance lessons?  The newest fad watch?  The list can be endless.  For this holiday season, stop and think about the fact that your children would much rather have time with you than with a gift.

Consider instead planning an activity that will become a family tradition.  Your children will have life long memories of all the fun they had with the family rather than the gift.  Such family traditions can include having the entire extended family over for a meal; or volunteering time together to help the less fortunate; or attending church together.

What about planning a family trip together?  You can select a different location each year.  One Christmas, my sisters and I planned a family trip to a popular theme park.  We rented a large home and our parents and all our siblings and their spouses and children came.  We had such a wonderful time and made enduring memories.  

Also be sure to include some relaxed time.  What about simply going outside and looking at the stars?  Or trying a new recipe for a special desert? Or playing fun games with them?  When was the last time that you were the horse and they rode on your back?

Spending time with your children requires planning.  But, these plans will be the most important and life changing plans you can make. 

How Much Time Do You Spend Each Day Listening to Your Children?

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During these busy holiday times, it is especially difficult for us to take our time as parents, slow down, and listen to our children when they speak.  Active listening skills can be developed - it just takes your desire to want to do it.  I love this quote from Catherine M. Wallace on today’s blog because I believe it is so true.  Listen to your children today and show them you love them so that when they grow up, you will always be considered as a parent to talk to.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have some very important information on their website about parenting and developing the skills of active listening with your children.

Active listening is one of the most important ways to build a close and loving relationship. Here are some of the active learning skills that the CDC recommends:

1. Stop what you are doing and focus your attention exclusively on your child.

2. Engage in eye contact when speaking.

3. Get down to your child’s level physically. If your child is sitting down, sit down too.

4. Reflect or repeat back what you understand your child to be saying to make sure that you completely understand it.

5. Don’t worry about getting things wrong. It is more important that you are listening and trying to understand.

On this website, the CDC gives examples of active listening skills so you can read for yourself and get suggestions.  Please visit it to learn more: CLICK HERE.

Encourage Your Children to Smile

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A warm, smiling face reveals a joy-filled heart.  

Proverbs 15:3

I love this version of Proverbs 15:3.  When I read it, I think of children smiling, genuinely and eagerly, because there is so much natural joy in their hearts.  Children love to play and laugh and have fun.  Smiling is a big part of that.

As a lay children’s minister for many years, I taught God’s Word in a fun-filled way.  I firmly believed that if a child was having fun, the child would learn God’s Word quicker and also know that God is a God of joy and fun.  We did puppet shows and dressed up in costumes to act out stories in the Bible.  Yes, we acted silly and goofy – all to get the children to be happy and excited about our great God. 

For me, smiling is a perfect way to show my faith and my thankful, joy-filled heart.  If I am smiling, that means that I have put my faith in God to help me to have a successful day and overcome any obstacles that try to block my progress.  And, I think that smiling is a sign of strength.  No matter how much pressure may be brought on me, smiling means that I am at peace, having put my trust in God.  Many people believe that smiling and joyfulness only come after our lives are perfect but that is not true.  The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength to be overcomers – not that joy only comes afterward we overcome.   (Nehemiah 8:10)

Smiling to others also encourages others to smile too and can be a blessing to them.  Do you smile to and with your children?  If they see you model smiling, they will be sure to follow in your footsteps.

It has been said that a smile is the prettiest thing that you can wear! What is the alternative? The upside down smile is a frown.

What To Do If You Have a “Shy” Child

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God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, and love and a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

I often hear a parent refer to a child as “shy”.  What does that mean? According to psychologists, shyness relates to being uncomfortable in different settings, including social settings.  It is different than being an introvert, because introverts like being by themselves and do not want much social interaction.  A shy child is usually unwilling to take risks in any situation.   Studies show that “shy” children can learn skills to help them overcome the fears that they have and grow up to be well-adapted, confident people.

I would first like to say that as Christian parents, it’s important how we “label” or “brand” our children.  Remember that your child is listening to what you call him or her.  Once a parent labels a child as “shy”, that child will grow up and live up to that label.  Stop calling or labeling your child something that is contrary to the Word of God.

If you have a child who displays some timidity or bashfulness, start first with searching the Bible for stories that will encourage your child and show him/her how ordinary people overcame their fears by having faith and focusing on God.  Find scripture verses addressing fear and help your child to memorize them.  This should be a part of your daily routine.  Play games with these verses and make it fun.  Also, support your child in meeting new people and being in new situations.  What we say about and to our children should always line up with the Word of God.

How Should Christian Parents Respond to Bullying?

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Now that our children are back to school and settled in, I would like to discuss a subject that seems to be increasing in frequency – bullying.  As Christian parents, how are we to handle bullying, whether our children are being bullied or are the bullies or are the persons standing by watching or video-taping the bullying?  This is a challenging and complicated subject because as Christians, we immediately think about Jesus telling us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39).

But is that really what the Bible instructs us to do?

The following incident just recently occurred at a high school.  A teenage student walked off the campus and was pursued by another student, who kept verbally taunting him.  The victim hung his head and did not respond to the constant taunts.  The bully caught up to the victim and hit him in the jaw, breaking it.  There were other students who were standing around watching and some were even video-taping the incident with their cell phones.  Adults passed by in vehicles.  No one did anything to intervene and stop the violence.  It was only when one of the videos was posted on the internet, did the community find out about what happened. My heart ached as a mother to hear about this victimization and brutality.

Bullying is too difficult a subject to fully address in a short blog, but there are a number of helpful websites.  I especially encourage parents to visit and read the information on THIS WEBSITE.  One of the leading experts on bullying is Paul Coughlin, the founder of The Protectors, an anti-bullying movement, whose own daughter was bullied.  Mr. Coughlin helps parents learn about bullying and teaches what they can do, in turn, to help their children.  He calls it “bully-proofing” your children.

Bullying can be very devastating to children.  Prepare yourself and your children for it so no one is caught by surprise if and when it does happen.

Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?

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As Halloween approaches, before making plans to participate in its activities, I ask Christian parents to research and read about this so-called “holiday”.  One of my children’s books discusses the true origins of Halloween - It’s Not About You Mr. Pumpkin - A Love Letter About the True Meaning of Halloween.

Many Christians do not know where Halloween started or what it involves.  Some think that it is just harmless fun for children, such as dressing them up in costumes and knocking on doors asking for candy.  I believe that it is very important for parents to understand the pagan origins of Halloween and the rituals that were and still are involved.  Shockingly, next to Christmas, it generates the most amount of money for retailers.

In preparing to write my book, I did a significant amount of research.  The celebration was started by people known as the Celtics who lived in Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England. Their priests were known as Druids, who used evil spirts to do dastardly deeds.  They believed that on October 31, the lord of the dead Samhain, would call out from the dead for all the evil spirits to go back and visit the homes where they used to live or the homes of their living relatives.  These evil spirits began “haunting” homes.   People living in these homes would put out food to stop these spirits from coming in and also put up scarecrows to scare them away.

Over the years, decorations became scarier and uglier.  The focus centered on death, witches, wizards, ghost and all things evil and scary. Soon, the aim was to get children involved.  Why not make it appear fun and playful – then children would be eager to participate?   Since children love to eat candy, offering the evil spirits food turned into offering children candy.

There are many alternatives in which your children can participate – especially those activities sponsored by churches.  Usually these festivals involve fun activities that do not involve any of the Halloween aspects.

You can read more about my book and order it by CLICKING HERE.