How to Talk to Your Children About Immigration & What is Happening at the US Borders

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The news media has been replete with stories of the sad situation with immigrant families at the US borders, especially what has been happening with children.  One very sad recent story was about a father and daughter who drowned while attempting to cross over the Rio Grande River from Mexico to Texas.  It is very difficult for children to comprehend tragic news and the controversial situation with immigrants does not appear to have any resolution soon.  As a parent, you have a responsibility to assist your children to understand what is happening as well as to make sure that they are getting information from reliable sources and not “fake news”.

There are many articles on the internet with advice to help parents.  Of course, the recommendations center on talking with your children based on what is age appropriate for each of them.  One expert suggests that parents should start with discussions of family history – where did various members of your family come from?  How did they get to the U.S.? Why did they leave the countries they were from?  I think this is a wonderful suggestion as it helps children to understand how their own family members were involved with immigration.

Reading and discussing books about the history of immigration in the U.S. and the struggles that individuals have gone through are also good ways to learn about what has happened in our nation’s history and what is happening now.  In the links below, books for children of all ages about immigration are suggested.

Raising compassionate and intelligent children requires that they be informed as best as possible about what is happening with immigration in our country.  They will likely hear the news from someone else, so as a parent, talking with them and helping them to understand the issues involved is critical.

For more information, please visit these websites.  Please also note that although I have these websites listed, I do not agree with everything they say, but they are, nevertheless, good sources of information.

• Time Magazine - How to talk to Your Kids About Immigration

• Little Feminist - Empathy Toward Immigrants

• Parent Map - Where to Start When Talking about Immigration

• Romper - How to Talk to Your Kids About Immigration and Family Separation

Children and Friendship Drama – Should Parents Get Involved?

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It’s back-to-school time with children returning to school.  There will be old friends for them to laugh and talk with and new friendships to build.  Of course, there will be times when there are squabbles.  What do you as a parent do when your child comes to you with a complaint?  You likely remember the times when you were a child and what happened to you.  Perhaps you have upsetting memories of quarrels that you do not want your child to experience.  Some expert advice can help you now that you are a parent to handle these squabbles.

Many experts agree that instead of going immediately to the other child’s parents to lodge a complaint, there are several other actions that you can take.   First, listen to what your child has to say.  Ask questions.  Be empathetic to what your child has experienced. Try to get the full account of what happened.

Second, encourage your child to standup for herself.  After finding out what happened, ask your child “Did you stand up for yourself?”  This does not involve your child saying anything that is rude or derogatory but does involve her not putting up with someone else’s bad behavior.  Try role-playing with your child so that she can learn how to react and respond differently in the future.  You should not be the one fighting your children’s battles for them unless it is necessary.

Third, help your children learn the differences between healthy and unhealthy friendships.  Ture friendships are built on trust and respect.  When a “friend” crosses the line, your child should know what to do. 

Fourth and perhaps most important, be there for your children to talk to.  Let them know that you are always available to talk and help them understand what has happened and not be judgmental.

For more information, please visit these websites below:

• Should We Get Involved in Our Kids’ Friendships?

• Your Child’s Friendship Drama - Do’s and Don’ts for Parents

Make Sure Your Children Participate in Vacation Bible School This Summer

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Churches have developed wonderful programs for children during the summer that have become known as vacation bible schools or VBSs.  Some programs last one week, others up to one month.  They are excellent programs for your children to learn more about the Word of God, develop friendships, and have a lot of fun.

There are many professional companies that produce annual vacation bible school programs, from teaching materials for teachers, to music videos, song CDs, skits, and bible verse memory cards.  Each program differs but they usually follow a format.  There is typically one simple theme and bible verses are selected that support the theme.  For example, a company has as one of its themes this year “Life is Wild – God is Good” with a jungle motif.   Another theme is “Athens – Paul’s Dangerous Journey to Share the Truth” with a Greek motif.

The creativity of these programs is amazing.  The appeal to children exceptional.  No longer do church leaders have to be concerned about creating their own study material and music, as everything is prepared and provided for them to lead a successful vacation bible school.

Importantly, vacation bible school is not a babysitting service.  As a lay children’s minister who volunteered as a leader for many VBSs, I was saddened to see that often parents thought of it as that.   It is instead a wonderful learning program where children thoroughly enjoy themselves. 

If your church sponsors a VBS, please enroll your children in it.  If not, research other churches in your community that do.  Your children will truly be blessed by participating!

Activities for the Whole Family to Celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus

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The day we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is this Sunday.  I don’t like to refer to it as “Easter” because that word is of pagan origins.  Besides attending a morning service at church, do you have anything planned as part of the celebration?  Here are a few ideas to make the festivities more fun and informative for the entire family.

1.    Decorations. Before the event, make streamers or tabletop centerpieces on the theme of the holiday. Dove or cross streamers are a lovely touch to an indoor or outdoor space. The same goes for signs with bible verses on them. You can find several other decoration ideas online or come up with them yourself!

2.    Crafts Table. Whether you plan to invite friends over or choose to keep it as a family celebration, a crafts table is always a good idea. There could be coloring pages based on the biblical story, stencils to make doves and crosses, even paint and markers to illustrate a favorite story or memory.  These creative ideas will keep children occupied while the adults greet guests, prepare the spread, or just relax. Do not let the kids have all the fun though, as adults can join in on the crafts table too!

3.    The Feast. Speaking of a spread, you can spice things up this year by making a meal reminiscent of the Last Supper. Though the Bible is clear that unleavened bread and wine were served at the Last Supper, the other foods Jesus and his disciples ate are not stated.  What is known is that foods such as date charoset and cholent were popular at the time and you can now find these recipes online. Your children can help you. Older kids can prep much of the food or assist with the cooking process itself. Younger children can be put in charge of the food display and be little taste testers too. While everyone is partaking in the meal, discuss the significance of the Last Supper in reference to the resurrection of Christ. What a great way to get the whole family involved!

4.    Resurrection. Now that you have shared the significance of the meal relative to His resurrection, discuss the resurrection itself. To make it a little more interactive, prepare certain discussion points with your children ahead of time. If there are guests over, consider playing a game at the end of the story using questions about details from it. Whoever answers the most questions correctly then wins the game and will get a prize!

These are a few suggestions that you and your family can consider in celebrating this most eventful time in Christian history, always remembering the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for us.

You can also check out my children’s book It’s Not About You, Mr. Easter Bunny- A Love Letter About the True Meaning of Easter, along with its coloring pages by CLICKING HERE.

The Importance of Having Family Devotional Time

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Parents play such a vital role in their children’s lives and forming their character – this is a theme that permeates my blog posts.  Being a parent who actually wants to impact their children requires you to spend time with them, including devotional and prayer time. 

First and foremost, we must start with you as a parent.  Do you have time set aside each day for your own devotions and prayer life?  Children are very observant and will likely follow your example rather than your words.  Explain to your children why you have a devotional time and how it benefits you.  Spending time reading the Bible, meditating on a scripture verse, being quiet and alone with God, praying – these can all be ways to spend devotional time.

Now, to get your family involved requires planning.  Are your children toddlers or teenagers or both?   Activities should be directed at your children’s different ages. For example, do not expect your 4 year-old to sit still for long periods of time.  Plan having an activity such as coloring available that focuses on the theme for that day’s or week’s devotional.  Read a Bible story.  Talk with your children and ask them questions.  Let them ask you questions too.

There are many children and youth-friendly books for devotional time.   And, the internet has many websites as to what families can do together.  Start off with a length of time that is short so that when it is well planned, the time will fly by.  Make it a happy family time rather than a burden.  Children especially do not want to participate in an activity that is mundane. 

As your children get older, they should be encouraged to have their own devotional time as well.  Family devotional time can become the foundation for their own private devotions. 

For some recommendations of books to include, CLICK HERE.

Parents - Be Aware of the Dangers of E-Cigarette Use by Youth

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On December 18, 2018, the Surgeon General of the United States Vice Admiral Jerome M. Adams issued a public health advisory on the dangers of e-cigarette use.  He called the use among our youth “an epidemic” and asks all of  us to step up and help protect our children from this major public health threat.

According to the Advisory, e-cigarettes entered the U.S. market in 2007 and since 2014, are the most widely used tobacco product by youth.  In 2018, use grew by 20.8% so that 1 in 5 high school students and 1 in 20 middle school students used e-cigarettes.  These cigarettes come in different shapes, sizes and flavors and have become very attractive to youth, especially with so much effective advertising geared toward the youth.  It is also important to know that, in addition to using various flavors, marijuana is being used in e-cigarettes too.  

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The Surgeon General warned that e-cigarette aerosol can be harmful as it usually has nicotine, which is an addictive drug.  “Nicotine exposure during adolescence can harm the developing brain – which continues to develop until about age 25. Nicotine exposure during adolescence can impact learning, memory, and attention. Using nicotine in adolescence can also increase risk for future addiction to other drugs. In addition to nicotine, the aerosol that users inhale and exhale from e-cigarettes can potentially expose both themselves and bystanders to other harmful substances, including heavy metals, volatile organic compounds, and ultrafine particles that can be inhaled deeply into the lungs.”

He refers to this growing use as a “public health epidemic” and asks us assist in the fight to protect our children.  The Advisory provides helpful information as to what can be done by parents, teachers, health professionals, as well as government entities. 

The Advisory ends with the following: “KNOW THE RISKS. TAKE ACTION. PROTECT OUR KIDS.”

To read the full advisory, CLICK HERE.

For other interesting articles on the dangers of e-cigarettes, visit:

• Power to the Parent

• CDC: Exposure to eCigarette Advertising to Middle and High School Students

• Youth Exposure to Vaping Products

Parents Should Monitor the Music Their Children Listen To

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I saw this statement on the internet as I was researching the theme for today’s blog post - parents monitoring their children’s music - and thought it was an interesting perspective to write about to address this topic.  Proverbs 22:6 states that we parents are to, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

The subject about offensive music came up recently after a close friend of mine attended an exercise class at a sports facility in a large urban area.  Music videos were shown as part of the exercise experience.  My friend told me that the young instructor bragged about how her mother often attended her classes.  Unfortunately, my friend did not have a good experience - she was not only shocked by the extremely vulgar words in the songs, but also the dance moves in the videos.  Repeated curse words as well as sexually explicit language and dance moves were a part of almost every song.  As it turned out, the instructor’s mother did not attend class that day.   My friend commented that she believed the instructor’s mother would have been highly offended and embarrassed by the music had she been there.  She also questioned whether the instructor would have played these music videos with her mother there and sighed in relief that no men attended the class that day because she said she, as a woman, would have been embarrassed.

There can be no dispute that much of the musical lyrics today is filled with vulgar and sexually explicit language- especially in certain genres.  What should Christian parents do?  Parents must be vigilant, as they play a very important role in deciding what music their children listen to when at home.   I’m a firm believer that when children are in your home, they should abide by your rules.  Of course, teenagers especially will complain about peer pressure and fitting in with their friends.   But, you must set parameters and train up your child as you feel is right and godly.

I don’t believe that any parent would even consider allowing his child to have in the home any literature or videos promoting racism, pornography, or violence against women, for example.  So why would a Christian parent allow his child to have music that is laced with vulgarity and sexual explicitness?  Plain and simple – that type of music should not be accepted.

Talk with your children and explain why you are setting boundaries.  And, importantly, ask them whether they would play that type of music if you were sitting in the car with them or talking with them in their bedroom?  If they believe that a song would be offensive to you as a parent, then it should be offensive to them too!

Be Very Mindful of How You Speak to Your Children – Part 2

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This blog post is part 2 of how we as parents should speak to our children. Part 1 can be found here. I love what this quote from Brooke Hampton says as to how we should speak to them – “as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth ….”  And then, based on what we say to them, their belief system in themselves is being created: “what they believe is what they will become.”

Proverbs 23:7 says that “for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”  A child often believes or thinks what he has been told, whether it is the truth or not.

As parents, we develop in our children what they will think about themselves.  If we notice and react to our children’s faults right away and then criticize or punish them, we are developing in our children the tendency to be critical about themselves.  Make a commitment to change that.  Actively look for what your children are doing right each day and praise them for it.  When the time comes that you will have to deal with something that they did that was unacceptable, the positive words will outweigh the negative ones.

When you are speaking words of kindness, encouragement, and love, make a point of stopping what you are doing and focus on them.  Have them stop what they are doing too.  Get their attention.  After speaking these words, observe what happens to their demeanor.  They will light up!  It’s as if the most important person in the world (well you are to them) truly believed in them. What could be more important?

Ask yourselves: aren’t your children, in fact, the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth to you?The answer is clearly “yes”.So let’s speak to them as they deserve to be spoken to!

Be Very Mindful of How You Speak to Your Children – Part 1

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I have always profoundly believed that we parents form the foundation for the way our children view the world and themselves.  Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue has the power of life and death.  When you speak to your children and about your children, what do you say?

The quote for today’s blog from Peggy O’Mara rings so true to me.  The way we talk to our children does, in fact, become their inner voice.  How else can children know how others view or describe them except by hearing it first from their parents. 

From my own personal experiences growing up as a child, I know that what my parents said about me always resonated in my head.  I was often described by them as being “shy”, “quiet”, and “smart”.  Whenever I was introduced to an adult, my parents would use those three words to say something about me.  I grew up with those words ringing in my head.  Now, as a mother of two sons, I understand the power of any sort of “description” I speak of my sons.   I have tried very hard to only speak positive words.

In my professional career as a judge who presided over many juvenile delinquent and juvenile offender cases, I heard the demeaning words that parents would often speak about their children to me in court, and usually, these juveniles were young men.  As their parents told me derogatory things about them, the young men would just stand with their heads down, ashamed and not knowing what to do.  But, I knew that their parents’ criticism and derogation did not just start then. 

Are you speaking words of encouragement and hope to your children? Even in anger, we parents can lose control and say mean things.  Once these words are said, though, it is hard to forget them.  Develop the habit of pausing before you speak.  This will allow you to gather your thoughts and control your tongue.

I encourage you to talk to your children with positive, supportive words.  Help strengthen their inner voice so they develop faith in themselves and truly love who they are. 

Teach Your Children About Martin Luther King, Jr.

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This Monday January 21 is celebrated as Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, a federal holiday.  As children will be home from school, I encourage parents to spend time teaching their children about this icon of the civil rights movement. 

To assist you, I have searched the internet and can say that there is an abundance of information about him, but I would like to focus on what is available specifically for children.  At the end of this blog is a list of websites where you can find a plethora of information, including books.   PBS.org has a list of 17 excellent children books about him and others involved in the movement, such as Rosa Parks and Ruby Bridges, a 6 year-old heroine who was the first to integrate a New Orleans school back in 1960.  Spend some time with your children going to a book store to purchase a book or to the public library.  Once your child has a book, sit down and talk with him about it.  Ask questions.  This period of time is of such importance in our history.  You may even learn something new!

The Today Show just posted on its website an article about helping children to learn about King.  Depending on your children’s age groups, there are suggestions as to different types of discussions regarding the various people and issues of the time.  Several short videos are also provided on the webpage that share more interesting facts.

Additional recommendations can be found at the website care.com in an informative article about King.  Consider having your children participate in an art project or volunteer activity all about King and the movement.

Writer Erin Dower provides principles to talk about with your children in the online article 8 MLK Jr. Values to Instill in Your Kids.  I like this article because it gives simple yet profound values taken from King’s life and discusses how children can incorporate these values into their own lives. 

There is so much information available about King and the civil rights movement.  Please enjoy a relaxing day off on Monday, but also include time to help your children learn more about him and the immense reforms that came about because of his leadership and dedication.

• PBS - Adventures in Learning

• Today - How to Tell Kids Story of Martin Luther King Jr. Day

• Care - How to Explain MLK Jr. Day to Your Kids

• Family Education - 8 MLK Jr. Values to Instill in Your Kids 

Start the New Year with a Resolution to Exercise Together as a Family

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A common new year’s resolution for adults is beginning a regular exercise routine or increasing the amount of weekly exercise.  At the beginning of this new year of 2019, please consider exercising together as a family.  Not only will this promote a healthier family lifestyle, but it will also build many fond memories.

I know that you may think that finding time for just you to exercise is difficult, but including your children in exercise routines can be much easier than you may initially think.   There are many articles online about adults and children exercising together.   Some of these articles are listed at the end of this blog post to help you.  What is important is planning.

What would you like to do for physical activity and exercise?  Prepare a routine for different days of the week and seek your children’s input.   Some exercises can be done inside at your home or gym, while others, outside, depending on the weather.  Also, some family exercise activities will require spending money, such as buying bikes or special sports equipment, while others will simply require you and your children to put on sneakers, pack some water, and walk out your front door.  It’s up to you to decide what you would like to do. 

One online article has excellent tips on family walks and how to prevent children from complaining and whining.   The key is to plan out your walk and make sure that you take time to enjoy what is happening around you, especially in nature, and talking with your children.

If biking together is what you would like to do, plan out the route to take from your home and back.  Many communities have bike paths to encourage biking fun.   Be creative.  On a weekend or holiday, add a picnic in the park too. 

The list of family exercise activities is long.  Your children will love spending time with you and you will enjoy spending time with them.  And, everyone is developing an important habit of exercising.  To me, that is a win-win scenario for everyone!

Here are some websites that provide a wealth of information to help you with this new year’s resolution:

• Report Shows Parents and Children Can Inspire Each Other to Exercise

• PBS - Family Fitness

• Fun Walking with Kids

Happy New Year, 2019!

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As the fresh new year of 2019 approaches,  many of us are busily thinking up and writing down new year’s resolutions.  I must admit that I do that too!  Before you do that though, I encourage you to make a list of all the ways that you are blessed and the goals that you achieved in 2018.

Thinking about and writing down all the good things in your life will focus your attention on the positive and bring more joy into your life.   As you then plan out your resolutions for the new year, you will have more determination to accomplish them! You have many blessings to thank God for and have achieved many of your goals.  Be joyous in 2019!

During All the Gift Giving and Receiving This Christmas, Please Remember the Greatest Gift of All!

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“Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift.”

2 Corinthians 9:15

While we are all busy giving and receiving gifts this year, we can easily get caught up in the material aspect of Christmas.  As Christians though, it is critical that we remember and celebrate the greatest gift that was ever given to us.  God gave His only Son to us as a special gift!  The scripture verse at 2 Corinthians 9:15 succinctly sums up the reason for the season. 

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas!

Encourage Your Children to Read More by Building a Fort

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The Christmas and New Year’s holidays will soon be here and our children will have many days off from school.  I often like to think about creative ways for parents to encourage their children to read and develop active readers from a young age.  Why not consider building a fort in a child’s room or family room as a unique, cozy, private place to read?

In building a makeshift fort, let your children take the lead in researching what types of forts can be built, planning what is needed, and actually building it.  After all, it’s “their” fort.  I recommend starting out by searching the internet for pictures, articles and ideas.  There are also many books that give step by step instructions on building all types of forts. 

A fort can be simple and just made with a few chairs for walls and a blanket thrown across the chairs for the roof.  Or, it can be more elaborate.  What is important is that everyone participates in the decision as to what it will look like.   Be sure to make it big enough so that you can join your children in the fort.  A fun activity is reading to them inside the fort!

This project will definitely be one for the memory books!  And, importantly, you and your children will have a fun time bonding.

Holiday Advertising Aimed at Our Children

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I write frequently about helping our children to overcome the negative pressures that often surround them and try to impact them.  Christmas is a few weeks away and advertisers have been doggedly aiming advertisements at our children since at least October.  Here are some suggestions as to how to help your children maneuver around this bombardment, especially during the holiday season:

1.    Use this time as teachable moments.  We as parents will never be able to stop advertisers from advertising, but we can help our children understand what is happening through advertisements.  Oftentimes, we do not think about an item until we see an advertisement.  Then, we can get the feeling as if we cannot live without it!  Advertising is very powerful, so talk with your children about it and the purpose behind it – us spending our money!

2.    Teach your child to be a smart shopper.  Just because you see an advertisement of a particular product does not, in turn, mean that it is the specific product that you must purchase.  If your child does need a particular item or if you would like to buy an item despite of need, make plans about it.  For example, if you would like to purchase a small electronic notebook for your child, discuss it with her.  Research together the different brands and models available.  Compare prices, warranties and ratings.  Impulse shopping can become addictive so teaching your child to be a smart shopper from a young age will help her to grow into a disciplined shopper.

3.    For Christians, Christmas is the season for giving, as God gave His only son to us.  Stress that with your children.  Plan how as a family and individually you and your children can give to others in need.  What community organization needs your help?  Consider volunteering to help others as a family activity and something that you will do throughout the year.

To read more about this subject, please CLICK HERE.

Caregiving and Children

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Photo courtesy CNN

November is National Family Caregivers Month.  Many organizations such as AARP have information that is helpful to families who have caregivers.  In this week’s blog, I would like to write about children who are caregivers because oftentimes, we do not consider them as caregivers, even though there are many who are, and we do not consider the impact caregiving can have on them at a young age. 

My late husband was unable to walk for the last six years of his life, due to a stroke and the slow debilitating effects of Parkinson’s disease.   Our two sons assisted me with taking care of him for many years, so I can personally describe the difficulties we endured and how caregiving affected them.   

In the beginning, when my husband first became unable to walk on his own,  we, as a family, had to learn all about how to assist him with his day to day needs.  Of course, the most pressing need was transferring him out of the bed into a wheelchair and then from the wheelchair into a regular chair and then back again.  I relied on my sons to learn from the physical therapists and do this.   It was not easy for them, but they were able to master the transfer process, as they had to do it many times during the day and night.

It was important to me to continue to take my husband out for lunch or dinner and to different events, to keep him active and social.  My sons, of course, were there to assist with whatever we needed. 

My sons observed their father go from a successful businessman and active father, to one who was extremely limited physically due to his health challenges.  Communicating with them about their father’s decline in health was often difficult, as they too were suffering grief.  Their outlets were their friends and playing sports. 

I can honestly say that my taking care of their father was made easier with their love and assistance.  And, their father certainly enjoyed and appreciated their participation.  They showed love and honor to me and their father with their acts of kindness!

To read more about children as caregivers, please click here.

Passing on Good Values

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A friend of mine told me about the non-profit organization Foundation for a Better Life and its website www.passiton.com and I wanted to pass on what I have found and learned.   I believe it will be very helpful to parents and children in learning about and promoting good values.

The Foundation is dedicated to passing on good values in our communities through public service campaigns.  Various means of communicating positive values are used such as through videos, billboards, radio messages, and the internet.  Additionally, if you are looking for an inspirational quote, one page on its website is dedicated to that as well.  No matter how you may be feeling, there is an inspirational quote for you to help brighten your day.

A quote from its website explains its mission: “The goal of The Foundation for a Better Life is to offer inspirational messages to people everywhere as a contribution toward promoting good values, good role models and a better life.”  I can’t tell you enough about how impressed I am with this organization and all that it is doing.  Please spend some time on its website – you will not be disappointed!

Teaching Your Children to Genuinely Apologize

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To “apologize” can be viewed as a sign of weakness.  Often, a child will say “Me apologize! No way!”  Children from a young age think that they can do no wrong and will refuse to admit a mistake.  That’s where our parenting skills come in handy.  We should consider helping our children to understand what an apology is and how to be truly sorry for a wrong.  This is an important part their development and maturity.

In talking to your children about apologizing, please do not yell at them or make them feel embarrassed, fearful or ashamed.  It takes calm heads to address what has happened and that calm head should come from you as a parent.  Experts suggest that a parent wait until the child has calmed down and then talk to them about what has happened.

Talking it out is critical.  Ask questions as to why your child acted in a certain way.  Did he feel jealous?  Did he feel left out or excluded?  As you are trying to find out why your child acted as he did, your child is also thinking about his actions. 

An important part of the discussion should be the other child’s feelings and what could have been done differently.  Ask your child how she would feel if the other child did the same thing to her.   What could she have done to avoid the situation or to prevent the situation from escalating?

Once these topics have been discussed, then you can move on to the apology.   Experts agree that a genuine apology includes understanding that the other person’s feelings should be accepted over your own and that remorse should be shown.  In an online article on the website Today’s Parent entitled Here’s What Works Way Better Than Forcing Your Kid To Say Sorry, a former elementary school teacher states that she focuses on three parts of the apology to guide students: “I’m sorry for this … this is wrong because … and in the future I will ….”   I think this is wonderful advice because it covers all aspects of an apology. 

To read the entire article, please visit the website by clicking here.

Have Your Children Participate in Holiday Planning

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Three major holidays are soon approaching – Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day.  Typically, parents plan all the activities and children enjoy the fun, including days off from school and eating lots of sweets.  This year, have your children actively participate in the planning of each day’s activities to help them build organizational skills and appreciate what needs to be done.

For gifts, get suggestions from your children on what should be purchased or handmade.  Family members usually enjoy receiving personal, handmade items from children.  If your children are artistic, encourage them to think of presents that they can make.  There are many websites as well as stores that have ideas for projects.  The key is to plan ahead and make sure that you and your children have  time to make each gift.

If you decide on buying some gifts, encourage your children to come with you to select the gifts.  You can build fond memories looking for the perfect item for a grandparent, for example.  The gift recipient can be told that the child helped to select the item.  Oftentimes, that makes the gift extra-special.

Each holiday will need a special menu for meals prepared.  Ask your children to participate in building the menus and then grocery shopping and cooking with you.    They will learn about selecting meals and obtain hands-on- knowledge of ingredients as well as learn your cooking secrets.

Decorating the house for each holiday should be a planning activity too.  Many families have already accumulated decorations over the years that are kept in storage until the time to put them out.  Consider adding some new, special touches to this year’s decorations – some that your children select.  For example, one of my nieces wanted specific Christmas decorations in their front yard one year.  She and her parents discussed the decorations, arrived at an agreement on what could be purchased, and then went shopping for them.  Everyone assisted in putting them up.  The new decorations turned out to be an extra-special touch for their yard.   

Children love to be included in planning activities – it shows them that they are truly appreciated.  They can learn so much by doing so too! 

Is There Such a Thing as a Fun and Wholesome Party for Teens?

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“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

— Matthew 5:13-16

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As a parent of two sons who are now adults,  I understand the dilemma that Christian parents are in when it comes to allowing their teenage children to throw parties.  I am a strong proponent of offering our children alternatives, always remembering that we are called to be the salt and the light where ever we are. 

What does it mean when Jesus said that we are the salt of the earth?  Salt has been used for centuries as a preservative for food.  As Christians, we are called to be preservatives of men – to show the world what it means to live a godly life.  Also, salt enhances the taste of food.  We are called to be influencers in the world. 

What does it mean when we are called the light of the world? We are to have our lives shine forth as examples of what it is to be believers and followers of Christ.  We are not to conform ourselves to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of our minds.  Romans 12:2.  We are to set the examples!

How do these scripture verses relate to teenagers and parties?  In many different ways.  As I mentioned in the introductory paragraph, I am a proponent of offering our children alternatives.  When it comes to throwing parties, we should encourage our children to do so in godly ways, always being mindful that we are the salt and light of the world.  So, instead of discouraging them from parties, consider the impact of a wholesome party on all those in attendance.

Teens can have a great time in a wholesome environment but it takes a lot of planning.  Remember that at this age, they are social beings and love to have fun and interact.  Of course, food is critical.  Have a variety of  delicious snacks available.  Even consider an ethnic theme.  For example, I found Mexican food easy to cook and a hit with teens.  Instead of offering alcoholic beverages, have other choices, such as a tasty punch.  Teens love to play games, so have your children search the web for fun games to play.  They know what games they and their friends would like to play – do not force them to play a game that they do not want to. 

Your goal should be to make such an impression on the teens that they will realize that wholesome parties can, indeed, be a lot of fun and want to throw more.  Support your teens to be the salt and light of the world!

Websites where you can find great suggestions for games for wholesome parties:

• Wonder Mom Wannabe

• Mom Junction